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Couples Jokes

Funny Marriage Quotes
“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”

— Neil Simon
Funny Money Quotes
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
Marriage Puns
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin date.
Irish Puns
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
Divorce Puns
Why don't some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don't work out.
Puns
Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
Movie Pick Up Lines
"Do you have a cell phone I could use?"
"Why?"
"Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing."
- Couples Retreat (2009)