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Chess Jokes

Chess Puns
What did Michael Jackson say to his chess opponent?
“It don’t matter if you’re black or white.”
What's a chess player's favourite starter?
Pawn cocktail.
I was watching a chess champion vs a boxing champion match.
The chess player had a mean right rook!
My favourite piece in chess is the rook
It is the most straight-forward.
When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
Classic rook-y mistake.
History Puns
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Computer Puns
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Giant Puns
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Never Remarry
Lucy and Debra were having one of their chats during one of their regular Thursday outings to play some chess, talk and get some good coffee. At one point, Lucy sighed and said, “You know, Debra , if something every happened to my Paul, I don’t think I could ever marry again.” Debra nodded sympathetically. “I know what you mean,” she said. “Once is enough for me too.”
Mummy Puns
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Nuts Puns
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Salt Puns
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Medieval Puns
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld
Tableware Puns
I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess...
But he saw right through it