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Charity Jokes

Running Puns
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
One Liners and Short Jokes
If I won a million dollars, I'd give a quarter of it to charity.
Not sure what I'd do with the other $999,999.75
Crab Puns
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Color Puns
I recently ran a charity marathon to promote greener earth, but the run left me a little jaded.
Giving God Advice
One day an old man wrote a letter to God and tied the letter to a tree outside a church. The priest came and took down the letter. It read "Please God, I'm a poor man, please send me $100,000 so I can pay my debts and live peacefully". Being a kind priest, he took donations around town for the old man and raised $5,000. He put it in an envelope and wrote on it "From God" and left it next to the tree when he saw the old man come visit again. The next day, the old man came back and tied another letter to the tree. The priest then came and took down the letter and read it excitedly. "Dear God, thank you for sending me the money. Next time, please send it to me directly as the priest can't be trusted, can you believe he took $95,000 of the money!"
Ocean Puns
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
A Difference in Prizes
Bubba and Billy Bob were known for having quite a bit below the average smarts around Little Rock. One day, in the Little Rock Walmart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They each bought five tickets at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Billy Bob won 1st place - a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize - a toilet brush. About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Walmart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!" Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?" "Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna switch back to paper."
Pig Puns
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig