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Castle Jokes

Puns
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
Medieval Puns
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Monster Puns
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Camel Puns
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
Knight Puns
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Giant Puns
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
The Genie and the Three Wishes
A man finds a magic lamp. Of course, as the deal goes, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie that thunders he has 3 wishes to make.. "For my first wish, I want to be some kind of royalty." the man says. The Genie nods. "Yes, yes. That can easily be arranged." "For my second wish, I want to live in luxury, the most beautiful castle." "It will be done", the Genie agrees. "And I want to be married to a beautiful princess." "I understand", says the Genie, "However, your wishes require a lot of work. But it should be done tomorrow." So the man goes to sleep and when he wakes up, he is laying in a beautiful bed. He looks around and everything is just as he wished. He is a noble, living inside a beautiful castle and next to him a beautiful princess smiles at him. "Oh, you're finally awake, Franz-Ferdinand. We should get up, today we're traveling to Sarajevo."