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Anymore Jokes

Fairy Puns
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"

The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."

The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
Funny Break Up Lines
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
The Ex-Jewish Rabbit
So a rabbit is enjoying some earl grey in his garden when his friend arrives. His friend says, "Please come back to us." The rabbit, formerly Jewish, says, "No, sorry, I don't believe anymore." His friend grabs him by one arm and tugs, saying, "Come with me, come on! You have to join us down at the synagogue! You used to lead us and we miss you!" Almost dropping his cup due to the tugging, the rabbit rights himself and says, "You almost made me break my favorite cup! Please leave!" His friend angrily storms off. The rabbit's wife comes out and says, "What was that about?" The rabbit says, "My friend wanted me to lead the community at the synagogue again, but I would've had to drop the tea."
Halloween Pick Up Lines
That’s a nice Witch costume, but you won’t be needing the broom anymore, because you’ve already swept me off my feet.
Ancient Rome Puns
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Utensils Puns
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Hair Puns
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Kangaroo Puns
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.