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Anxiety Jokes

Toxic Pick Up Lines
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
Puns
Do you suffer from anxiety that an intruder may be hiding in your room?
You're not alone.
Kitchen Puns
Cooking is bad for my anxiety.
I had to throw away my pressure cooker.
Quotes
“Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.”
Greenville Kleisser
“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”
Tina Fey
Doctor Puns
I ride share to work regularly, but if I'm in the backseat when we go through a tunnel I have a massive anxiety attack.
My doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.