You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
All farts...are laughing gas.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
