Hand Puns

There's no section handier than this one! Welcome to our Hand Puns!

Hand Puns

I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."