Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter