What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Ah! The element of surprise.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
