I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.