I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam