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Weapons Jokes

Gun Puns
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
These Headlines Are Real and Totally Hilarious
~ Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges. ~ Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy. ~ Filming in cemetery angers residents ~ Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons ~ Crash courses for private pilots ~ Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy ~ Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard ~ Bodies in garden are a plant says wife ~ 30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter ~ Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop ~ Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years ~ Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Knight Puns
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Engineering Puns
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Garden Quotes
"Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons."
- Dave Barry