Weapon Jokes

How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
The Battle of the Lake
There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squire's polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom wasn't so wealthy and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squire's polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a noosed rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor. The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and couldn't fight. The squire of the third kingdom couldn't rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought. The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious. It just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Within minutes, the detective figured out what the murder weapon was.
It was a brief case.
Within minutes, the detective figured out what the murder weapon was.
It was a brief case.
If looks could kill you, you’d surely be a weapon of mass destruction.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.