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Wash Jokes

Soap Puns
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I think it was Scampoo.
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
I don't use shampoo when I wash my hair.
I'm a man - I use real poo.
Color Puns
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
Theater Puns
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Ghost Puns
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Food Quotes
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
Werewolf Puns
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
Toilet Puns
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
Mermaid Puns
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Utensils Puns
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
Sink Puns
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?...
You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
but I don't sink sew.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."