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Rome Jokes

Travel Pick Up Lines
Who needs a map when one can Rome freely in your beautiful eyes?
Ancient Rome Puns
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
The Italian and the Insatiable Woman
An Italian guy is out picking up women in Rome. While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive looking blonde. So they’re back at his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After they are done the Italian sits back pleased. Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So… you finish?” After a slight pause. She replies, “No.” Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, and has his way with her again, this time lasting even longer than the first. Again he rolls over, lights a cigarette, and asks, “So…. you finish?” And again, after a short pause, she simply says “No.” Stunned, but still acting reflexively on his macho pride, he once again puts out the cigarette, and mounts his companion du jour. This time, with all the strength he could muster up, he barely manages to end the task, but he does, after quite some time and energy is spent. Barely able to roll over, he reaches for his cigarette … lights it again, and then asks tiredly, “So….....please.... you FINISH?” “No no, I’m Swedish!” Says the blonde.
Greek vs. Italian
Two old men are arguing about history and the splendors of Athens and Rome. the Greek man says "Look, all I'm saying is that the Greeks invented everything the Romans get credit for!" The Italian says "Yes, may be, but the Romans improved it and made it useful!" The Greek man says "We invented the Democracy!" The Italian says "We realized the challenge of direct elections and the benefit of the legislature, and thus created the Republic!" The Greek man says "Yes, but we created beautiful architecture like the Parthenon!" The Italian says "And we improved your building techniques, and used them to create aqueducts and structures that stood for centuries longer!" The Greek man, frustrated, finally says "Ah, of course. But the Greeks, we INVENTED lovemaking!" The Italian man stops a moment to think, then says "That may be true, but WE introduced it to women!"