A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Guy: "Whats the bad news?" Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy." Guy: OMG, and the good news? Doc: You now have a tic tac toe.
“Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch.”