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Psychic Jokes

One Liners for Kids
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
One Liners and Short Jokes
Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.

For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, you idiot.”
A cynical man wishes to a Genie that he would be a psychic.
The Genie nods and snaps his fingers, and the man is warped back to his home.

Eager to see if the Genie was telling the truth, the man tests his power on a friend. When he failed to make the right guess, he shouted in frustration.

"God. I KNEW this would happen!"
A Frog Outta Luck
This is a story about a frog who had a unique and weird love in its heart - for human women. He wanted to meet the princess to make him a prince. Of course, no human girl will touch him. His frog relatives are weirded out and don't want to help him. Eventually he hears of a psychic toad that lives not far away. He makes his way to him in leaps and bounds, and finds him in a little bog. After much pleading, the toad reads his fortune. He tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."  The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"  "No," says the toad, "in her biology class."
Crab Puns
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
Bread Puns
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
A Frog's Destiny
A male frog goes to a psychic and asks him when he will meet his one true love. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."
Cookie Puns
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).