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Flush Jokes

Pear Puns
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
Toilet Puns
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
Gorilla Puns
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Science Puns
Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
Everything is Bigger in Texas
A blind man is unafraid to travel and experience new things around the world. Eventually, his travels take him to Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is huge!” “EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!” says the bellhop cheerfully. The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow, these drinks are enormous!” The bartender disclaims: “EVERYTHING is big in Texas!” After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender. The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and the poor guy falls right in. The few swimmers there were shocked when a man suddenly popped his head up from under the water flailing his arms and screaming, “Don’t flush, DON'T FLUSH!!!!!”
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.