congregation Posts

This Joke Starts With a Woman Speaking to a Congregation

The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. "Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food.

Joke: The Generous Old Lady

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

Hilarious: Who Would Have Thought She Donated So Much?

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

Hilarious: There Are Ways to Refuse Gifts, Pastor!

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before his congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

The Quiet Blonde Has Something to Say to the Preacher

An Alabama preacher said to his flock, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.

Hilarious: The Young Priest's Ideas Are a Bit Out There

The Young Priest Has Some Clever Ideas... funny, hilarious, old, joke, humor, young, church, priest, congregation A young priest is trying to help his bishop out with returning people back to the congregation. His ideas are good, apart from one, which is quite far out...

Joke: The Preacher's Paycheck

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

This Joke Starts With a Minister Doing Something Different

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison "The Old Rugged Cross." The pastor hollered out, "Grace!" The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound." The pastor said, "Power!" The congregation sang "There is Power in the Blood." The Pastor said, "Sex!"

Joke: She's Got BIG NEWS to Share...

A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enraptured congregation: "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month.

Joke: The Rumor Spreader

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God ." No one moved.

I Wonder Why the Elderly Lady Didn't Raise Her Hand (Joke)

He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80% held up their hands. He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly lady. "Mrs.

This Priest Makes Beautiful Miniature Palm Crosses (Joke)

The congregation in the church that day reacted with glee. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching."

Joke: The State of the Modern Church

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah! PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon. Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering.

This Joke Starts With a Young Vicar Delivering a Sermon

A young vicar about to deliver his first sermon asked the advice of a retired minister on how to capture the congregation's attention. "Start with an opening line that's certain to grab them," the cleric told him.

This Joke Starts With Mrs. Jones Talking to a Minister

he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. " God! " Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice.

Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...

A young pastor moved to town and decided he would go around and introduce himself to the new congregation. He rang the first doorbell and a lady came to the door. She stared at him as he introduced himself. She said, “I can't believe how much you look like Conway Twitty, the country music singer.”

Joke: The Sinning Rabbi

The dish comes out, and just as the waiter is setting it as his table, the rabbi sees one of his congregants walking towards him on the sidewalk. The rabbi is terrified of being caught. Panicking, he shouts out “Would you look how they serve an apple here??”

Joke: The Case of the Town's Gossip

She emphatically told Sam and several others of the congregation that by seeing his car there, everyone would know exactly what he was doing. Sam, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment then just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend or deny. He said nothing.

Great Joke: Calling Upon the Preacher When Hearing Is Hard

When he arrives, Larry sits down quietly and waits until the preacher asks the congregation if anyone needs his assistance through prayer. The old man raises his hand, and the preacher motions for him to come over and queue up with the other people who are in need of some divine assistance.

Joke: The Secret to Having No Enemies

Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to be 97, and not have an enemy in the world." The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned around and said: "It's easy, I just outlived the bastards."