I work as a private household manager and security officer for a wealthy family. It's my second time around doing this type of job. In my first post, it unfortunately didn't turn out too well. At the time I was young and inexperienced and thought I could get away with behaviors like partying on the job. While I'm not making excuses for my behavior, in this job you do get a lot of alone time in someone else's mansion. I suppose that I did get up to a lot of 'risky business'. Consequently, I ended up damaging some of the family's belongings, including what was apparently some very expensive furniture. It was badly scratched and I ended up in jail having had all my weapons taken away. I learned my lesson however, and won't be making that mistake again. I now take my responsibilities very seriously.
Thankfully, the demand for my services is pretty high and I luckily landed a new gig relatively quickly in spite of my jail time. It may surprise you to learn that my job is a lot harder than you think. I'm mostly responsible for patrolling and inspecting the house. I ensure that everything is safe and secure, alerting the owners to any potential problems. I also help with some household scheduling. This includes wake up times, bedtimes and meal times. As part of the perks of the job, I get boarding, free medical care, and other bonuses. In this day and age and with jail time on my record, I consider this to be a pretty good deal.
The family I work for have lots of money. They have a huge house with tons of rooms and closets that need to be inspected. I patrol all the rooms and I open all the doors to make sure there are no security issues. You'd think the family would make things easier for me by leaving the doors open, but no, they can't be bothered to do that. Every single day I have to re-open them. It's hard work. I have to grab the bottom of each door and shake it until it pops open. But it's something that I do with pride ensuring that the family can go about their lives in a carefree manner.
Once my morning patrol is complete, I am responsible for waking everyone up and getting them downstairs for breakfast. This is a difficult part of the job. Sometimes they yell and throw stuff at me. Still, I take my work seriously, so I just keep at it until they get out of bed. Experience has taught me that they each respond to different strategies. The man, for instance, likes to be woken up by having me sit on the edge of his bed, screaming at the top of my lungs. The woman, prefers I have my face really close to hers and just stare at her. She jumps when she opens her eyes and sees my face right there. It's hilarious though and we always have a good laugh over it. The kid wants his face tapped gently and repeatedly until he wakes up. While it may be a little strange, to each his own.
They can be a little weird about certain things. Once, I went hunting and brought some meat for them. They were taken aback and didn't appreciate the gesture at all. I thought I would get a bonus. Instead, they threw the carcass in the trash. They hadn't even tried it. I even saved the best parts for them, but maybe squirrel isn't for everyone. I'm not sure who they get their meat from, but I won't waste my hunting skills on them again.
I've had some good times too. The woman likes it when I rub my face on her cheek. She's my favorite and we've got something going on, the husband has no idea. When he's out of town, she invites me into her bed and gives me snuggles. I know it is risky, but it's not a benefit I'm going to just walk away from.
While this family may have money, they don't have much common sense. They hired a wolf to help with security! A wolf! I tried to warn them about the dangers by urinating on the wolf's bed, but they didn't listen. Now I regularly hiss at the wolf to let him know who's boss. It seems to be working. The wimp won't even walk past me without an escort. I don't care. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to work. He's not too good at security either. He screams at anything that moves outside the house. Cars, the mail carrier, even family friends. This must be where the phrase 'cry wolf' comes from.
While the wolf thinks that he has special privileges, he's an idiot. He gets all worked up when he hears the word 'walkies' and just waits while the family puts an undignified tether on him. He gets to go outside, but what's the big deal. I go outside whenever I want, by myself and not on the end of a rope. I suppose this is one of the privileges of being the boss.
There is something I have discovered in this job. It is that money does not equal class. I've seen the people I've worked for actually urinate in their own water source. How disgusting is that? The wolf keeps drinking out of it, but I refuse. I drink out of the faucet or from a bowl, as a civilized being would.
Not too long ago the family went away for a week. They took the wolf with them and left me in charge of the house. What does that tell you? Maybe they are smarter than they look. They know I'm fierce and will scare any bad guys off and clearly, they trust me more than the wolf to get the job done. Even that menacing Red Dot didn't come around the whole time they were gone!
Here's a photo of me on the job. At this time I am checking the home security camera. That bird may look harmless but I will keep an eye on him. This is basically the life of a private household manager/security officer. Treat the family and their stuff right and you'll stay employed and out of jail.
