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These Jokes Mean Business...

A very successful businessman went to visit his new son-in-law.

He said to him, "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family. To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn how everything works."

The son-in-law said, "That's very kind of you but I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."

"Oh, I see," said the father-in-law. "In that case, you can work in the office and take charge of some of the operations there."

"That's very kind of you but I hate office work too," said the son-on-law. "I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk in an office all day, every day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law who was getting a little annoyed now. "I just made you half-owner of a huge money-making organization, but you don't like factories and you won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"

"That's easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

business jokes businessman pointing and laughing

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent," beamed the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I only need one copy."

business jokes businessman pointing laughing

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Sure. I've been asked to install the phone line."

business jokes business woman

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." 

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" 

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?" 

 

And the HR Person said, "Certainly... but you started it."

 

 

 

 

 

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