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These animals have started a punning war, and in a punning war there are no losers, only winners! |
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Here are some more hilarious animal puns:
1. Why do cows wear bells? because their horns don't work!
2. I'm having a ruff day. Don't terrier self up about it. There's sure to be a pawsitive outcome!
3. Why are most horses so slim? Because they are on a stable diet!
4. Why didn't the crab share it's toys? It was too shellfish!
5. What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets a little wine!
6. I went to the zoo today, there was only one animal. It was a shitzu!
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
8. I watched a documentary about beavers last night. It was the best dam show ever!
9. A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him. The doctor described his condition as stable!
10. When Noah was loading the ark, where did he put the bees? In the ark-hives!
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
12. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
13. These giant squid jokes are kraken me up!
14. Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs? Because she mislaid them.
15. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
16. Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
17. Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
18. I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
19. What do you call an alligator with a vest? Invest-igator.
20. By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.
21. Pig puns are so boaring.
22. Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.
23. I'm so purrfect that whenever I meet a pretty girl, I whisker away.
24. The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line
25. When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough.
26. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
27. What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff BA DUM TS.
28. I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable!
29. What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam
30. What's a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.
31. How does a farmer count cows? With a cow-culator
32. Cuddling a cat usually leaves you feline good.
33. The duck was in rehab because he was a quackaddict.
34. A bear was killing moose for entertainment but in the end he wasn't amoosed.
35. I hate insects, they really bug me.
36. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
37. Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're shellfish.
38. My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game.
39. We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.
40. What would bears be without bees? Ears.
41. Are you on the hunt for some great animal puns? Then paws what you’re doing and read these!
42. What did the dolphin say when he made a mistake? “Hey, I didn’t do it on porpoise!”
43. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
44. What did the rodent say as he was leaving work? “Wow, it’s been a long day. I could really gopher a drink!”
45. Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
46. Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baaaaaaahamas.
47. What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story? “Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant.”
48. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!
49. What did the fish say after proposing an idea to his boss? “Let minnow what you think.”
50. Why is the bee’s hair always sticky? Because he uses a honeycomb!
51. What did the pony say when he had a sore throat? “Do you have any water? I’m a little horse.”
52. Are you annoyed with all these animal puns? Try coming up with some yourself—toucan play this game!
53. What did the owl say when he got a divorce? “Now I’m owl by myself.”
54. Why was the bird sad? Because he’s a bluebird.
55. Which animal will you probably meet on Tinder? A catfish!
56. What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch? “Well, this is hawkward.”
57. I was going to tell you some animal puns about pigs… But they’re a little boaring.
58. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
59. What’s a dog’s favorite movie? Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone
60. What did the dolphin say when he was confused? “Sorry, can you please be more Pacific?”
61. Why didn’t anyone believe the tiger? Because they thought it was a lion!
62. How can you make an octopus laugh? You give it ten-tickles!
63. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
64. What was said during the feline couple’s argument? “You’re such a cheetah!””No, you’re lion!”
65. Why did the leopard hate playing Hide and Seek? Because he was always spotted!
66. What’s so special about your deer? I have no-eye-deer!
67. What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?Y ou can’t tuna fish!
68. What did the dog say before he left for work?”Just another day at the paw-ffice!”
69. Why did the pelican get banned from the restaurant? He had a big bill and tried to get out of paying.
70. Why do pandas prefer old movies? Because they’re black and white!
71. Why did Mozart end up getting rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying “bach bach!“
72. Why did the eagle get arrested for stealing from the doctor? It was ill-eagle.
73. What did the dog say before eating his snack? “Bone a-pet-treat!”
74. What’s a wolf’s favorite holiday? Howl-o-ween!
75. What kind of ducks steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks!
76. What did the cat and dog sing together at karaoke night? “Don’t stop retrieving… hold on to that feline!”
77. What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show? A cat-has-trophy!
78. Why was the bear a good fit for the job? He had all the right koalifications!
79. Why did the cat go to the vet? Because he said he wasn’t feline fine!
80. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
81. Why did the bear leave the restaurant? He thought the food was unbearable!
82. What did the giraffe saying to his annoying friends? “I’m going home! You are all giraffing me crazy!”
83. Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda’d to its every need!
84. How did the owl respond when his friend called to say he was running late? “Don’t worry! Owl wait!”
85. Why couldn’t the seal stop laughing? His friend had just told him the sealiest thing!
86. What did the alpaca say to his overworked wife? “We’re going on vacation, alpaca your things!”
87. What’s a cat’s favorite book? The Great Catsby!
88. What do you call a dog who picks locks? A corg-key!
89. Why was the bear wearing a tank-top? He heard he had the right to bear arms!
90. When one hippopotamus tells another hippo that it is fat. — That is so hippo-critical.
91. If you want to tell someone you are lonely. — I am owl by myself.
92. I feel like we are drifting apart… maybe it is the time we sea otter people.
93. Do you want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.
94. When you want to say sorry, not sorry in a hilarious way, — I did it on porpoise.
95. Sorry about the cough. I am a little horse.
96. A bee that will not stop eating will eventually become a little chub-bee.
97. When a hawk falls off a branch. Well, that was hawkward.
98. When you want to tell someone they are annoying. – You are giraffing me crazy.
99. Here is one about pumas. – Stop making me laugh, you will make me puma pants.
100. What do dolphins say when they are confused? Can you be more Pacific?
