Two men pause their round of golf to smoke a cigar. One pulls out a matchbox while the other pulls the biggest lighter you've ever seen out of his golf bag and proceeds to light his cigar.
The other man stares, laughs and says "Holy moly, that's the biggest lighter I've ever seen! It must be a foot long! That's hysterical. Where did you get it?!"
"Well," The first man sighs. "It's a long story."
"We have hours ahead of us." Pointed out his golf companion.
"Alright, alright." Surrendered the first man.
"Thing is, I found a magic lamp while practicing the other day, and the genie gave it to me."
The second man is skeptical and laughs, just to have the first man pull an old oil lamp out of his bag. Intrigued, the second man rubs it, and sure enough, a genie pops out and offers a wish.
The second man doesn't think twice: "I want a million bucks!"
The Genie nods, snaps his fingers, then disappears into a wisp of smoke. For a few minutes... nothing. Then, suddenly, a rumble in the distance.
The rumble gets louder and louder, when suddenly the skies darken and a flock of ducks flies over. There are hundreds, no thousands of them! For 10 minutes straight the sun is blocked out, and everyone is holding their ears to protect from the sound of a million ducks quacking.
Suddenly, as quickly as it started, it ended. As the sound slowly faded away, and as the last few straggling ducks flew over, the men looked around at all the carnage, duck poop everywhere, golfing gear lying scattered as other golfers ran for cover.
Astounded, the second man says "What the hell was that? I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
"Yea he's a bit hard of hearing." His friend sighs. "Did you really think I wished for a 12-inch Bic?"
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Genie, I Want Beer Now That I've Found You (Funny Joke)
A blonde redneck guy finds a lamp. He rubs it, and a genie emerges. His thoughts immediately turn to beer...
Some People Shouldn't Be Allowed Near a Bathroom...
We invite you to laugh at the following series of images that'll make you grateful your bathroom isn't on this list.
Hilarious: When Adult Kids Still Prank Their Parents!
rom clever photo swaps to creative holiday cards, these lighthearted antics capture the fun and unexpected moments that keep family dynamics lively.
When Daddy and Baby Get Together, Hilarity Ensues!
rom high-flying tosses to goofy dances, witness the unfiltered joy and adventurous spirit of fatherhood that brings a new dimension to family fun.
Have You Heard This One? The Ex-Wife's Payback
For an ex-wife, wealth is just three wise wishes away..
Who Made These Signs? 16 Hilariously Weird Pics
These are some of the most confusing signs we've ever seen!
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
These Photos Prove Dogs Are The FUNNIEST Pets In Existence
Whether they're caught trying to steal a snack or desperately resisting bath time, dogs never fail to put a smile on our faces. Check out these funny dog moments!
These Parents Have a Great Sense of Humor...
These parents have the best sense of humor about their daily struggles. So stay awhile and crack some smiles!
Hilarious! When Mrs. Brown Gossips...(Very Rude!)
When Mrs. Brown was performed live on TV, some of the actors couldn't stop giggling.
This Man Pushed a Button. He Had No Idea What It Will Do...
This man saw a button at the town square, he didn't realize what would happen when he pushed it.
18 Funny Notes Left by Clever Moms and Dads
These parents left the funniest passive-aggressive notes!
17 Hilarious Animal Memes That Will Have You Guffawing
Start your day with these ridiculously hilarious animal memes.
Got Humor? Enjoy These Hilarious Comics!
We live in a crazy world! Here are 11 cartoons that perfectly illustrate the absurdities of the modern world.
Funny Insults: 16 of the Wittiest Comebacks in History
These witty historical retorts show that insults were once an art.
Hilarious: This Just May Be Why Building Codes Exist...
20 examples of the worst construction flaws, that will hopefully remind you to hire a professional next time.
Funny: The Constant Battle Between Our Heart and Brain
These comics perfectly illustrate the tricky relationship between your heart and brain
13 Hilarious Protest Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
Some people like to think that holding up signs will achieve something, but others go to protests for a laugh. Here are 13 funny examples.
These 14 Photos Were Taken Just a Moment Before Disaster
These perfectly timed photos are hysterically funny!
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
These Funny Restaurant Signs Will Have You Guffawing
The iconic Tex-Mex restaurant, El Arroyo is back with some more hilariously clever signs.
HILARIOUS - 15 Witty Comics About Everyday Objects
Time for another hilarious collection of single-panel comics.
Hilarious: Time to Laugh at Some Fresh Cartoons!
Forget everything today and just enjoy these hilarious one-panel comics by Mark Lynch.
The Wit of Mark Twain: Quotes that are Amusing and True
One of the most famous American writers, Twain was known for his wit and darker humor. To this day, his quotes are an inspiration.
These Hilarious Tweets Show What Marriage Is REALLY Like...
These Tweets from newly-married men take away all the glamour and mystery from marriage, however their spin on things is nothing short of hilarious.
This Is One of the Most Shocking Pranks I've Ever Seen...
Watch in horror as three young girls convince some passers-by to get them a bottle of water, which actually turns out to be tequila! What an epic prank!
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
15 Hilarious Photos Taken a Second Before Disaster
A series of photos happening just before disaster strikes.
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
Hilarious: How to Insult 7 Different Nations!
This kind woman is willing to help her boss with a difficult meeting, but her help isn't all it's cracked up to be...
Hilarious Fortune Cookie Messages to Make You Laugh
Fortune cookies can be quite sassy sometimes!
Puns Make Me Smile, and These Made Me Laugh!
Some of these puns are pretty cheesy, but they'll make you feel grate!
Classic Comedy: When Laurel & Hardy Joined the Army
Laurel & Hardy never fail to make us laugh! Enjoy this classic clip of the time when the iconic duo joined the army...
When Google AI Went Horribly Wrong: 16 Hilarious Fails
You really can’t count on Google AI for dependable answers!
This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
15 Epic Design Fails Spotted in Public Spaces
These public design mistakes will make you roll your eyes.
"Funny" Quotation Mark Fails We Had to Share!
A hilarious collection of the most “unnecessary” quotation marks.
Unexpectedly Funny Street Photos: 15 Must-See Pics
Our streets are filled with spontaneous, chuckle-worthy scenes.
These Are the Funniest Signs I've Seen in a While...
These hilarious signs required some devious minds behind them...
These 16 Hilarious Pics Are So Scandinavia
Scandinavia is carefree, overly nice, with high taxation and low temperatures. Kind of like a European Canada.
The Vengeful Car - Hilarious Prank!
A girl asks random men to help push her car, obviously they all jump at the occasion to look all manly and full of good intentions. Unfortunately, it turns out the woman's car can not only drive itself, but is hungry to get his revenge on his owner!
When Christmas Decorations Failed Miserably - Funny Pics
These people ruined Christmas with their hilariously bad decorations.
Classic Comedy: A Tennis Player's Breakfast
This sketch is all about how tennis players act on the court - and at breakfast!
20 Savage "Burns" That Will Live on Forever...
Can you think of anything better in this world than a fantastic inspired insult? Here are 20 of our favorite crushing zingers.
Funny: Young People Don't Have Damn a Clue About Aging!
This hilarious stand-up bit really hits home on the subject of aging, and how young people really don't get it...
How Did This Japanese Woman Teach Her Dog to Whisper?
You've probably heard dogs howl, bark, and growl, but have you ever seen a dog do this?