An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.
Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Passover and paying their own airfares."
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
This Joke Starts With a Huge Family Waiting For a Bus
A blind man vies for a seat on a bus with a family with nine children. Inevitably, he and the husband do not make it on due to overcrowding. An argument ensues.
Funny Joke: One, Two Three and You're Ready to Go!
This joke begins with an old man going to see a witch doctor
This Joke Begins With a Couple Going to a Strip Club
This joke involves a wife who takes her husband to a strip club for what she thinks is the first time...
Have You Heard This Joke? You MUST See the Circus!
The circus is coming to town and it's the perfect time for a brand, silly new joke!
Joke: The Panty Rule
A newlywed couple are about to consummate their wedding night when the husband decides to lay down the law. He couldn't predict what would happen next...
This Joke Starts With Two Dogs Mating in Someone's Yard
Two guys are riding in a car when their conversation turns to their respective sex lives. One proposes alcohol as a method of getting more action...
Funny Jokes: And then the Fight Started...
The jokes in this collection all have a common theme - how to start a fight with your spouse!
These Dogs Just Don't Understand the Concept of Size!
Maybe a cat took their bed, maybe they just miss being small, but one thing is for sure - these dogs need a bigger bed!
The Most Hilarious Photos from the Animal Kingdom!
Take a look at this hilarious collection of animal-failures.
These Amusing Animals Clearly Think They're People
If you thought our unique human traits set us apart from animals think again, because these pets clearly think they're human!
14 Funny Restaurant Sidewalk Signs That Lure You In!
These clever and creative signs were found outside restaurant sidewalks.
Hilarious: 16 of the FUNNIEST DIY Repair Jobs!
These ridiculously funny DIY fixes will crack you up!
With These Witty Lines Anyome Can be Star of the Party
some funny sayings with a something for everyone.
Why Are These Big Cats Behaving Like Cute Kittens?
Big cats, small cats, it doesn't matter; they are all the same…
Funny Pics - The Most Outrageous Car Repair Jobs
These are the most outrageous car repair jobs you’ll ever see.
This Lion Learned You Should Let Sleeping Lionesses Lie...
This lion chose the worst way to wake up a sleeping lioness!
Silly Signage: Visual Jokes You Can't Unsee
We've never met a funny sign we did not like, but these 16 signs and announcements are extremely confusing...
Hilarious: The Truth About Vincent Van Gogh's Family...
Like most people, I'm very familiar with Vincent van Gogh's incredibly artistry, but I never realized how large his extended family was until I saw this post.
Food and Humor Collide in These Cheeky Restaurants
These restaurants have a cheeky sense of humor!
Hilarious Beach Photos That Make You Roar With Laughter!
The photos in this collection prove that one can stumble upon some really funny characters and things on the beach
This Has Got to be the World's Funniest Orchestra!
This orchestra not only provides you with great music, but great laughs as well.
These Rude 'Chinese' Proverbs Got Me Laughing
Ok, so they may not really be Chinese, but they are certainly funny!
Ready to Laugh? The Best Senior Jokes in History!
No wonder they call the golden age the happiest time of your life....
When Animals Steal the Spotlight with Funny Antics
These hilarious animal moments will leave you in stitches!
FUNNY: Wild Halloween “Treats” That Left Kids Confused
These aren't exactly the "treats" you expect on Halloween.
20 One-Frame Funnies That Will Make You Laugh
This New Yorker cartoonist's works are full of wit and humor.
Hilarious! Would You Like a Glass of Milk?
What happens to these unsuspecting victims when they are sold milk from a dog?
"Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!” - A Rib-Tickling Three Stooges Clip
Watch this rib-tickling clip from a classic The Three Stooges short.
How on Earth Did These Dogs Get Into These Positions?
Discover the canine world's weird and wacky side with these 20 hilarious photos of dogs acting extremely strangely!
14 Grocery Store Signs to Make Your Shopping Funnier!
Chuckle with this super collection of some of the wittiest and funniest signs found inside supermarkets.
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
Mark Twain Had a Lot to Say About Almost Everything
Mark Twain is one of the most famous writers in American history. He was known for his dark wit and humor, and his quotes still inspire people today.
Hilarious: Why You DON'T Send a Man to the Grocery Store
Sending a man grocery shopping - what could possibly go wrong?
Warning: Hilariously Bad Animal Puns!
If you like jokes and animals, you've come to the right place! Enjoy these 18 funny animal puns we've collected just for you.
When Animals Misbehave, Hilarity Inevitably Ensues...
It's apparent that animals have just as great a sense of humor as humans do, and this is evidenced by these GIF images of animals behaving badly.
Hilarious! Quick, Your Majesty, Avoid Mr. Bean!
It's hard to imagine why the Queen would ever want to meet Mr. Bean. I mean, I know he's funny, but...she's the Queen! This will not end well!
When Two Old Ladies Sit Down and Make Us Laugh!
Hilarious and classic sketch from the Mrs. Brown classic show.
These Funny Quotes Will Inspire You With a Smile
Let these humorous quotes about life put a smile on your face.
These Truths About Marriage are Bound Crack You Up!
These absolute truths about marriage will really crack you up!
Funny Photos: These Delivery Men Have an Odd Way of Working
We all enjoy getting a package in the mail, don't we? It's not always so straightforward though. These 20 delivery fails well have you laughing out loud.
Cat Behavior Is Not Always Easy to Understand! Hilarious!
In this video, you will see cats trying to fit themselves into tight spaces.
Tiny, Crazy Hairdressers: When Kids Try Styling Themselves!
These kids decided to give themselves a new look. Unfortunately, the results didn't quite turn out as planned. Still funny as can be though!
15 Adorable Cats & Dogs Keeping Cool in the Heat
These adorable pets know how to stay cool when the weather gets warm.