Raising children is in no way a simple matter - everyone has their own approach, and there are many different methods and perspectives on dealing with this ongoing challenge. However, recently I came across a unique and interesting method that combines ancient wisdom and a special perspective on parenting and raising children. This method originates from the heart of Asia, from one of the highest plateaus in the world - where the Tibetan people, known for their profound spiritual wisdom, developed a unique doctrine for raising and nurturing children so that they grow to become independent, developed thinkers, and respectful towards their parents. If you also want to learn about this unique method, which includes four stages divided according to the child's age, read the following article, where you can also find several particularly effective tips for nurturing your children.
According to traditional Tibetan nurturing, in the first stage, parents should treat their child as if he or she were a king or queen, meaning you should not forbid the child from anything or punish them in any way. At this age, according to the Tibetans, children are naturally curious, active, and ready to explore the world they have just entered. However, they lack the life experience to learn from and have not yet developed the ability to draw logical conclusions - therefore, if they do something wrong or dangerous, you should appear and act frightened, and in this way, draw their attention to you. Emotions and feelings are the language children of this age understand best, so this is the type of response you should focus on. If you are overprotective of your child at this young age and try to prevent them from doing many things, there is a risk that you will suppress their joy of thought and teach them to act through imitation alone, without independent thinking..
At this stage, when thinking and logical abilities begin to develop and form the child's future personality, traditional Tibetan belief holds that as parents, you should treat the child as a "servant." What does this mean? Now is the right time for you to set a series of different goals for them, guide them on how to achieve these goals, and prepare them for the consequences if they fail - so that the child begins to learn responsibility for their actions. Do not hesitate to give your child many tasks during this life stage, as this is the time when they should be able to handle them and be ready for significant learning. If you do not make the transition from "king" to "servant," according to Tibetan belief, the child will continue to behave childishly and will not be able to take responsibility for their actions.
Stage 3: Age 10-15 – "The Equality Stage"
When your child slowly turns into a teenager and enters the next stage of growing up, it is important to speak to them equally and "eye-to-eye." Of course, you have more life experience and knowledge, but at this stage of their life, the child must be able to tell you what they think and share with you the opinions and positions they have developed. You need to help them do this: ask for their advice on various matters and encourage them to make decisions and be independent. It is important, of course, that you also give them advice but do not give them orders and commands, because at this age independent thought develops and matures, and you need to give it the time it needs to take root. According to Tibetan doctrine, if at this stage you still forbid the child too many things, you will damage their relationship with you and perhaps even lead them to deliberately put themselves in dangerous situations. If you are overly protective, your child may grow up with a lack of confidence and become dependent on others.
If you have acted correctly in all three previous stages - you will reach this stage when your child's personality is fully shaped. Now, it is very important to treat them with respect and give them loving and respectful treatment throughout. You can give them advice and share your opinion, but it is too late to educate them and preach to them. As mentioned, if you have acted correctly until now, you will see your actions bear fruit: the child will be independent, self-sufficient, respectful towards their parents and surroundings, and know how to behave.
So how did you perceive Tibetan parenting wisdom? Of course, we recommend that you examine it thoroughly and take from it the many positive aspects, but also rely on your parental judgment and the personal approach you choose to raise your child. Good luck!
