1. Authoritative Parenting
Many child development experts argue that this parenting style is the most effective. Characteristics of such parents include:
- Willing to establish clear and consistent rules and boundaries
- Having high expectations for their children
- Knowing how to listen well to their children
- Knowing how to give positive feedback and doing so regularly
Advantages and Disadvantages of Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents provide their children with a loving and supportive environment to grow in, and as a result, children of such parents suffer less from mental health issues, according to a 2012 study, which found that children of authoritative parents have higher self-esteem than children raised under other parenting styles. Additionally, children of such parents are healthier, with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), indicating that teenagers raised by authoritative parents are less likely to use drugs and alcohol and be less violent.
However, despite most experts claiming that authoritative parenting has the most advantages among all other parenting styles, this style requires a lot of patience and rules, which can be difficult for both parents and children.
Examples of Authoritative Parenting
- You've decided that your 16-year-old daughter should be home by 10 PM, even on weekends, but she feels it's too early. Therefore, you and your daughter sit together and decide on a time that seems fair and appropriate to both of you.
- Your child received a grade of 60 on a history test that you know he studied for. Instead of getting upset, you praise your child for studying hard but encourage him to talk to his teacher to see what he can do differently next time to achieve higher grades.
2. Authoritarian Parenting
It may sound the same as "authoritative parent," but it is not. For authoritarian parents, it is important that children do everything necessary to succeed so that they can be the best version of themselves. Such parents:
- Set clear and rigid rules and expect their children to follow them
- Punish – sometimes severely
- Have high expectations for their children and do not accept failure
- Do not encourage open communication
Advantages and Disadvantages of Authoritarian Parenting
It's important to remember that not every child will grow up to be an Olympic competitor or the next great genius, and this parenting style has quite a few disadvantages, despite its goal of leading to success. A study conducted at the University of New Hampshire found that children of authoritarian parents do not see their parents as legitimate authority figures, and are more likely to engage in negative behaviors such as smoking, skipping school, and drinking alcohol, compared to children raised under other parenting styles.
Other studies show that children of authoritarian parents are more likely to suffer from depression, and although this style aims for success, their grades are not necessarily higher than those of their peers.
Examples of Authoritarian Parenting
- Your child asks why he is not allowed to bring friends home, watch a certain movie, or eat a cookie for dessert, and you reply: "Because I said so!" without entering into a discussion on the matter.
- Using fear to make children do certain things. For example, "Clean your room or I'll throw away your toys," or "If your grades are low, you will be punished."
3. Attachment Parenting
This approach puts the child at the center and creates a protected and safe environment for them. Such parents have the following characteristics:
- Tend to maintain a lot of physical contact with their children – holding hands, carrying them, and even sleeping with them in the same bed.
- Respond to every cry for help from the child without hesitation – soothing, comforting, and supporting to provide a warm, loving, and safe environment.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Attachment Parenting
While it may seem counterintuitive, a 2010 study found that children of attachment parents grow up to be more independent, mentally resilient, less stressed, more empathetic, and have greater control over their emotions. However, such parents may themselves suffer from certain disadvantages, such as not dedicating time to themselves and their partners.
Examples of Attachment Parenting
- Your baby is crying or scared, and you immediately comfort them.
- Your child is having nightmares at night, and you allow them to sleep with you in the same bed.
4. Permissive Parenting
Parents who advocate for this parenting style are loving and warm. Unlike other parents, they let their children set the rules, and besides that, they also have the following characteristics:
- Do not advocate for setting many rules
- Do not set clear boundaries
- Do not always try to control their children's behavior
- Allow their children to make their own decisions
Advantages and Disadvantages of Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents provide their children with a lot of love. Although most experts do not recommend this parenting style, children raised under it often become independent individuals who know how to make their own decisions and appreciate their parents for raising them to reach such a state.
However, a 2016 study found that college students who were raised under a permissive parenting style experienced much more stress in their studies than other students, and various studies have shown that this parenting style may lead children to obesity. The results of a 2019 study indicate that children of permissive parents tend to be more victims of bullying, and surprisingly - the bullies tend to be children of authoritative parents.
Examples of Permissive Parenting
- Your 6-year-old doesn't want to go to school without a valid reason, and you think to yourself: "Well, that's his decision." The child will be able to see the consequences of his actions in the low grades he will achieve.
- You found a bottle of alcohol in your teenager's room, and you think to yourself: "I wish my child would make smarter decisions, but it's not under my control." However, you wouldn't agree to give him the car keys if you suspect he drank before going out.
5. Free-Range Parenting
This parenting style allows children to explore the world, take risks, and make mistakes, but under the guidance of the parents. Before parents loosen the reins, they give children rules and warn them of the consequences of their actions. This allows them to provide their children with:
- Independence
- A sense of responsibility
- Freedom
- Control over their lives
Advantages and Disadvantages of Free-Range Parenting
When children are given the responsibility for their actions, they grow up to be less depressed and anxious, and learn to rely more on their decisions. However, during childhood, they may be physically harmed, although the risk is no greater than that of other children. In fact, your children are safer walking a kilometer to school than if you drive them because the risk of being injured in a car accident is greater in a vehicle.
Examples of Free-Range Parenting
- You let your 3-year-old play alone in the park while you watch from a distance.
- You allow your child to walk to a friend's house a few blocks away, but before he leaves your apartment, you explain that he should not talk to strangers and what he should do if he gets lost.
6. Helicopter Parenting
Such parents control every detail of their children's lives, from the friends they hang out with, the food they eat, to how they spend their free time. The characteristics of such parents are:
- Trying to control every situation in the child's life
- Not trusting their children's ability to handle certain situations properly
- Always offering guidance to their children
- Trying to solve problems for their children instead of letting them handle them
Advantages and Disadvantages of Helicopter Parenting
While most experts argue against helicopter parenting because it makes children dependent on their parents, some studies show that this parenting style has some advantages. For example, a 2016 study found that college students raised under this style of parenting were much less likely to drink alcohol, engage in risky sexual behavior, or spend time with people who do so.
However, according to psychologists at Indiana University children of helicopter parents tend to have lower self-esteem, higher levels of anxiety and depression in adulthood, suffer from a fear of failure, and do not handle problem-solving well in their lives.
Examples of Helicopter Parenting
- Your child is playing at home with a classmate, and you tell them what to play with, how to play, and whose turn is next. This leads to the children playing without fighting and peacefully.
- Your teenager fails a test, and you approach the teacher and insist that they allow him to retake it.
7. Neglectful / Uninvolved Parenting
Of course, no parent wants to be neglectful or uninvolved in their children's lives, but sometimes it's hard to prevent it, for example, if the parent works two jobs or for some reason cannot communicate with their children. Such parents typically:
- Do not have special feelings for their children
- Do not attend to their children's physical and emotional needs, except for their basic needs
- Do not respond quickly to their children
- Are absent from their children's lives physically or emotionally
- May hit their children
Advantages and Disadvantages of Neglectful / Uninvolved Parenting
There is no documentation of advantages to this parenting style, but children raised under it tend to be better at relying on themselves, and have higher mental resilience. However, no child deserves to grow up in such an environment, and the disadvantages are many. A 2019 study found that children of neglectful / uninvolved parents struggle with emotional control, have a tendency toward depression, have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, and are more anti-social and anxious.
Examples of Neglectful / Uninvolved Parenting
- You have no idea if your child has done their homework or not, and it doesn't really interest you.
- You left your 4-year-old child in the car while you went into the store.
A Few Final Words
There are many parenting styles, and chances are you won't be a parent of just one style, but you'll combine several styles together, and that's okay. Every parent is unique, and so is every child, and you are the ones who know your children best. According to most studies, children grow up best when parents walk the fine line between giving a lot of attention and trying to control them. Either way, you need to try different methods and find out what works best with your children and for you.
