1. What is your best childhood memory?
2. How has your relationship with your parents changed over time?
3. Which clothing item do you have the strongest connection to, or which is associated with your sweetest memory?
4. What area of your life is currently frustrating you?
5. Which food reminds you most of your childhood home?
6. What’s easier for you, giving or receiving? Why?
7. What is your best quality?
8. What do you think is my best quality?
9. When was the last time you completely changed your mind about something?
10. Who hurt you the most recently?
11. What do you think is our greatest achievement as a couple?
12. What are the 5 most important things to you in life?
13. What makes you proud of me?
14. What was the most powerful experience that changed you for the better?
15. Have you ever felt a strong connection with any animal?
16. Which reality show would suit us the most?
17. What’s the worst date you’ve ever had?
18. What’s the weirdest thing that happened to you in bed with another person?
19. Which celebrities' pictures were on your room walls as a child?
20. What’s younger, your body or your mind?
21. What’s the weirdest hobby you have or had?
22. Where would you most like to be with me right now?
23. What will our next vacation look like?
24. When was the last time you laughed and why?
25. Which animals do our friends/family most resemble?
26. What’s more fun, morning or night sex?
27. What do you think is the best part of your body?
28. What’s the wildest thing we’ve ever done together in bed?
29. Is there something small and simple about me that turns you on? If so, what is it?
30. In what special place does your wildest fantasy take place?
31. Which area of your body is the most sensitive?
32. What do you think is the best position?
33. Which role-playing game turns you on the most?
34. What goes through your mind when we kiss?
35. If we could recreate one of our best nights, which one would you choose?
36. What was it that made you interested in me when we first met?
37. Do you think there is something that is unique only to our relationship?
38. What does marriage mean to you?
39. Which movie or TV show has moved you recently?
40. What will our relationship look like in a decade?
41. What is the most important thing we have achieved together?
42. Which romantic song always moves you?
43. Who was the last person you bought flowers for (besides me)?
44. How would we spend an entire day resting in bed together?
45. What is the most romantic place in the world, in your opinion?
46. What’s better for us, to vent our frustrations about this issue or to deal with it together?
47. What partial compromise can we make now to calm down?
48. What do we want to drink while we talk about this?
49. Could there be a hidden source of our anger?
50. How would we explain this situation to a 5-year-old, and what would they tell us?
51. If this is an argument that repeats itself often, why do we keep repeating this pattern?
52. What advice would we give our friends if they told us about a similar argument?
53. How can we rebuild trust between us?
54. What will this argument do to our relationship if we continue it?
55. Which needs are being hurt or neglected because of the reason that led to the argument?
You can use these questions in any way you want, not just within the framework of the different lists, and of course, also adapt and adjust them according to the level and nature of your relationship. Remember that for these questions to succeed in doing their job, you need to fully give the other person the right to speak and truly listen to what they have to say. Don’t develop any special expectations regarding the answers and just let the conversation that follows flow freely. Don’t be critical, speak with respect, avoid jumping to conclusions, and allow yourself to be open and vulnerable if you’re asked similar questions by the other person. This might be scary for some people, or starting a conversation with such questions might seem cliché and ineffective to others, but if you give them a real chance, you’ll find that they can work wonders for your relationship.
