Parenting involves a very delicate balance between many factors, with the main goal being to prepare our children for the future and make sure they are equipped with the best tools to succeed in their adulthood. One of the most important "balancing exercises" parents need to learn to do is to be honest with their children on the one hand, but not expose them to things they don't need to know on the other hand. Every parent knows that there are things that it is better for their children not to know so that they do not imitate them and instead learn good habits, even if it is difficult to stick to them sometimes, it is very important to try to stick to them. The following 10 "secrets" are recommended not to be revealed to the children so that you can serve as a positive example for them, with the help of which they can build their character in the best possible way.
1. That you like fast food
One of the most important values that should be instilled in children is understanding the importance of a healthy diet for the body as well as the mind. Since Since children learn best by example, avoid showing them your fondness for fast food and snacks. They might see this and think it's the correct way to eat. If you feel like eating a cookie or opening a bag of chips, try not to do it in front of your children, but when you are not around them. When you are in their company, eat healthy and nutritious meals together as much as possible and let them eat a small candy occasionally. This will allow them to learn about a balance between healthy food and things that are not always good for our bodies and it is recommended to minimize their consumption
2. That nothing happens if they don't eat all their vegetables
Vegetables are essential for the healthy growth of children, and it is important to instill this fact in them from a young age. To promote healthy eating, consistently emphasize the importance of finishing the vegetables on their plates, ensuring they grow up healthy and strong. You need not scare them with consequences for not finishing their plate, but avoid suggesting it's acceptable to skip the vegetables served to them. In order for it to be successful, give them portions of vegetables in quantities that they will be able to finish, and try to make sure that these are the types they like so that your children do not develop a negative attitude towards them.
3. How painful their birth was
This section applies mainly to mothers, many of whom take with them the memory of the pain of childbirth even after the physical pain itself has passed a long time ago. Sometimes it's tempting to tell kids how much you came into the world in pain, but that's not something they need to hear because it might just make them feel guilty about themselves. After all, they did not have a choice to come into the world and it is not fair for them to feel that they did something wrong in the fact that they were born. If they ask you about their initiative about the birth, don't go into details but tell them it was worth everything because in the end you got them into your lap, which is definitely true for most parents.
4. That you had a fight with your spouse
One of the most important things children need to learn throughout their lives is resolving conflicts of various kinds, including with spouses. In order for them to learn to do this in a healthy way, try not to bring out any frustrations you may have about your spouse in front of the children, as this will only cause them to develop an unhealthy worldview about relationships and how arguments between spouses should be resolved. There is no need for you to hide the fact that you sometimes argue with your spouse, but there is also no need for you to wash the dirty laundry in front of your children because they are not mature enough to understand what is going on, and they certainly do not need to hear negative things about one of their parents from the mouth of the other.
5. How much you hate doing housework
There isn't a home where dishes don't sometimes pile up in the sink or clothes pile up in the laundry room, and no one enjoys doing these chores all the time. As parents, you probably feel the weight of household chores sometimes, but try to avoid venting about it in front of your children. They are supposed to learn how to do household chores and take responsibility for themselves and their home from a young age, and if they hear complaints about it every time they fold laundry, it will certainly not contribute to a positive feeling or a desire to learn how to do the same things that their parents hate. Household chores are not easy for anyone, and your children will learn this on their own as they grow older, so there is no need to add fuel to the fire and make them dislike it ahead of time
6. That you worry about them all the time
Parents' love for their children knows no bounds, and it also brings with it quite a few worries about their safety and what might happen to them. These feelings are natural and self-explanatory, but they must not be passed on to children under any circumstances. As your children grow older, you will have more and more worries, and there is no need for you to leave them with anxiety about the world and fear that something bad might happen to them wherever they go. Children often mirror their parents' emotions. Instill values of foresight and planning to mitigate risks without fostering irrational fears of looming disasters
7. That it's difficult for you to be authoritative with them
Children are precious, but they have moments when they get out of control and behave in a way that requires the exercise of authority and a strong hand to make them stop their negative behavior. This is one of the most difficult roles for any parent who is faced with their children that they love so much and need to scold them and sometimes also punish them in order for them to learn a lesson for the future. When you do this, try to remain serious and relatively rigid, without showing your children that it is difficult for you to stand up to them and perform your role as parents. It is important that you maintain an authoritative appearance at all times so that your children do not think that there is an emotional opening in which they can speak to your heart and take advantage of the fact that you are having a hard time in order to escape punishment or reproach.
8. That you're having financial trouble
Raising children and maintaining a home require quite a bit of financial resources, and many people sometimes find themselves in financial trouble that requires thought, planning and brings with it quite a few worries. These times are not easy, but children must not be given the feeling that something is not right and that there is a deviation from the norm they have become accustomed to. One of the most important things for children is a sense of permanence and order in life, and if there is any financial problem, one should behave as usual and not convey feelings of stress and anxiety to them. You may not be able to buy new toys for your children, but you can nurture them and spend quality time with them that is worth more than any piece of industrial plastic
9. How happy you are they've gone to bed
It's not so politic to admit it, but there are busy days in the lives of parents in which all they want to do is rest from the day's chores and sleep properly. On these types of days, there is relief at the end of all household chores, and that includes putting the kids to bed. It's okay if you feel more relaxed after your kids go to bed, but they don't need to know that because it will only make them feel bad about themselves. It's not easy, but spend a few minutes with your children before they go to sleep so that they and you are relaxed, and don't be angry with them if they delay and drag out the time before they fall asleep. It won't add anything to them or you, but will make you feel bad later on in the free evening you were looking forward to so much.
10. How disrupted your life can get
Raising children and nurturing a family are two of the most challenging, but most fulfilling tasks in the world. Sometimes even when we reach a balance and feel that everything is going smoothly, the ship may shake and make us feel that we are out of balance. Even when this happens, it is important that you maintain a sense of routine even if you are not enough to do all the things you have set for yourself as a goal. If it happens that you are busy with work and do not have enough time to do the household chores, for example, use the free time you have left not in arranging the laundry, but in spending time together with your children. The laundry will not move anywhere, but children grow up in the blink of an eye, and it is much more important that they feel that you are by their side and that everything is fine, and not that you rush to fold the laundry instead.
