In recent years, life has become stressful and tense, leading to short fuses and quite a few unnecessary and angry arguments, especially if the behaviors of a particular person or group don’t meet our expectations. When we are in this situation and think that everyone is doing the opposite of what we expect them to do, we sometimes react in an exaggerated manner that is expressed in anger, frustration, stress, arguments, shouting and so forth. Is there anything you can do to calm yourself down? The answer is yes and the ways to do so are easy, but the first thing to do is breathe.
Breathe deeply and remember that we can’t control other’s behavior, however, we can control our reaction to them - this power can neutralize many situations that result from anger and frustration. There are other ways to control hostile situations, which you can read in the following 9 tips to help you live a happy, relaxed and stress-free life, even when everyone around you is on pins and needles.
Need more ways to living a stress-free life? See this.
Thinking about the worst can cause many of us to behave irrationally, to the point that even generally good and calm people can behave erratically when stressed. The smart thing to do is not to imagine the worst even when others around you are stressed and being negative, and instead stop and take a deep breath. Stopping creates a pause and a momentary break from everything that’s happening around you and allows you to think clearly. All you need in cases of stress is air and breathing space. Just pausing for a second will bring you back to tranquility.
You must learn to respect the opinions of others and know that even if they don’t do something the way you wanted them to, doesn’t mean they did it wrong - know that there are many right ways in this world and everyone has the right to choose their own. Even if there is disagreement about something, it's okay to disagree or not think like others, just make sure that you’re speaking respectfully and staying calm. If you feel that the argument is getting out of control, take a deep breath and try not to freak out. Think to yourself, that if everyone thought the same way, we would be living in quite a boring world.
In our busy and stressful daily lives, we tend to be concerned, fearful, and sensitive and distracted from almost everything, while at the same time the ability to empathize is reduced. When a person sees others and relates to their distress, they develop compassion for the person. The word compassion means "concern for the suffering of others," so if we put ourselves in the shoes of the other who needs help if only for a moment, we can understand them and help them free themselves from their stress. We have to remember that we don’t always know what’s going on in other people’s lives and therefore we must try to support and help, not add stress or rush to judge. Being compassionate will create a calm and peaceful environment that will reduce anger.
Many suffer disappointment and irritation and as a result, lose their patience, but if we can tell ourselves that humans have quite a lot of things in common, we can move from judging the other’s behavior to understanding it. For example, if you are witnessing an embarrassing event, try to get yourself used to saying "just like me sometimes". For instance this person is really rude, just like me sometimes; or this person is so impatient, just like me sometimes and so on. Choose not to judge the other in moments of crisis, stress or confusion, let these moments pass you by without regard and you’ll see that nothing will upset you.
There’s no need to take everything personally and you shouldn’t be offended by everything people say or think about you. You need to understand that you are worth more than everyone else and not underestimate yourself, and when you are insulted, try not to pay attention, you can’t control the thoughts and behaviors of other people. If you take it to heart, you’ll stay angry and hurt your whole life, is that what you want? Of course not! After all, most people think only about themselves and less about you, so if they do something they probably aren’t thinking about how it will affect you, rather only how it will affect them.
Some people say silence is one of the main factors that motivate them to argue, and not because they are bad, but because it's just hard for them to be quiet. If you encounter a person who starts arguing with you for no reason, the best and simplest way to avoid being dragged into an argument is to take a deep breath several times to relax. It is true that sometimes doing so is difficult, but this simple action really helps. Once you breathe, you gain time to think, calm yourself, and make the other side understand that you are not interested in getting into an argument.
When that hurt person realizes that they aren’t getting a response, they’ll stop. However, if you do respond and get into an argument, you really don’t know what the reaction of the other side might be. They may just be trying to trap you in an argument hoping to get an outrageous response from you. Be careful not to play into these people’s hands and remember, one moment of silence can save you from a hundred moments of regret. Being silent will put the power in your hands.
There is a phrase that says, "you made your bed now sleep in it," but what about the way we wake up in the morning? Does it have no effect on the course of the day? The answer is yes! The fast and busy life we have today makes us sleep less and become unnecessarily stressed. Many begin their daily routine from the moment they open their eyes by checking messages, emails and recent news update, unnecessarily stressing for someone else, and then wonder why they are angry and nervous. In order to make your day calm and peaceful, you must adapt to another way of waking up. Try to start the morning calmer, for example, sitting on your bed and taking three deep breaths, combined with 3 minutes of meditation. Doing this for 30 days, as a start, will give you the ability to start your day on the right foot.
Stressful situations cause different people to behave in irrational ways, and ways of coping vary between people. Some events cause some people to want to distract themselves and try to escape the situation through unhealthy choices, such as drinking alcohol, snacking, smoking, and the like. If you’re reading this and nodding your head because this is how you respond to such situations, know that there are different ways to cope, and if you try them not only will you benefit, but those around you will too.
Think positive thoughts about others and let the negative things around you go by, help those who are less fortunate and do good deeds every day. Every time you do a good deed, the feeling of self-satisfaction will delight you, and the person you’ve helped might be inspired to pay it forward, thereby creating a chain of good in the world. If you want to see that this method works, start it today! At the end of each day, write a list of the good deeds and successes of the day, for which you are grateful, for example, "My family and I got home safely from work and school today," "I managed to make my family happy." At the end, you’ll see that these actions bring you joy, distance, anger from you and your loved ones, and keep you calm and happy.
