1. Flattery
Nice words and compliments sometimes melt our hearts, but it's important to know that sometimes their intentions aren’t so innocent. Flattery is sometimes the weapon of choice for people who want to persuade others to do their bidding, something that is particularly evident among salesmen of all kinds. If a person begins to flatter you for no special reason, they probably want you to do something for them. If, for example, you're in a clothing store and are trying something on that you don’t find particularly flattering, but the seller in the store is "simply in love" with the way the piece of clothing looks on you, don’t be persuaded to buy it. Listen to yourself and your feelings, not the soft words of someone you’ll never see again and whose only interest is to sell as much merchandise as possible.
We all know at least one person who likes to play the victim, even if there's nothing in their life that makes them one. These same people use their “helplessness” and guilt to make others do what they want. They do this by giving off the sense that their fate is in others hands, so that the other party feels guilty if they don’t do what is being asked of them. This emotional manipulation can cause us to do almost anything, but it’s important to remember that you are not responsible for anyone’s fate but your own, and if you can’t do something to help, you absolutely don’t have to feel bad about it. We can’t always help the people around us and we definitely aren’t responsible for what becomes of them whether we do something or not.
“The sale is ending today!”, or, “if you don’t decide now, I’m leaving...” are phrases a manipulator might use to make us feel a sense of urgency and panic so that we might do what they want. When we feel like this, we fear we are missing out on a golden opportunity and make rash decisions without considering their consequences. If someone makes you feel like time is running out and that you might miss out on something important, then it’s most probably not real, and they are just trying to get you to do what they want. In a situation such as this, distance yourself from that person for a few minutes and decide what it is you want to do.
Fortunately, we all have the ability to learn how to do different things, at least at their base level, but there are some people who pretend that they will never be able to. Using helplessness and ignorance to persuade you to do something is an emotional manipulation tactic that is hard to ignore. However, think about it for a second, you didn’t always have the knowledge you have now and in order to gain it, you had to make the effort and learn. Then why should you give in to others who make you feel like they can’t do the same? If someone is trying to get you to do a job or run an errand that they have to do, using the excuse of “you’re smarter and better than me,” don’t be so quick to believe them. You can help them in the beginning but don’t let them make it a habit. Help them learn how to do it or tell them to do it themselves, that way they won't come to you every time they don’t feel like doing something.
Everyone wants to be a “man of their word,” but there are some people who use our words against us when we can’t possibly keep to them. When we promise someone something, at that moment in time we are absolutely sure that we can keep that promise, but life changes constantly, and things can come up that force us to go back on our word. Most people would understand this, but there are some that won’t let up and will bring up our promise again and again in order to make us keep it, even though it isn’t possible. You don’t have to give in to this, rather, be firm and state that it’s not in your power to keep this promise. To avoid situations as these in the future, don’t make promises, instead say: “I will do my best to help, but ill let you know if there’s a change of plans.”
6. Inconvenient conversations
You’re rushing home and a colleague stops you on your way out to ask you “something small.” At that moment, the only thing that’s on your mind is your long awaited night off, and so naturally, you’ll agree to anything this colleague asks and only think later how you’re going to do it. People who know how to manipulate others use moments like these to ask for things that they want knowing that the other party will agree. These same people will also apologize for the hold up to cover their true intentions, but remember, the power is in your hands. Just tell them that you’ll speak the next day, or at another time because right now you’re in a rush home. This brush of isn’t rude, in fact, it allows you to listen to the person in a calmer manner at a more convenient time for you. This way you won’t be pressured into agreeing to something unwillingly.
Conclusion:
Nobody wants to be manipulated by others, but unfortunately, it happens a lot more than we think. In order to take the power back into your hands ask the person in front of you to get to the point and be short and concise about it, refuse requests that make you uncomfortable, or just say that you need some time to think about it. That way, you can decide if it's something you really want to do without external influences and without someone trying to twist and manipulate you into doing what they want.
