Consistency is an important and necessary trait to fulfill ourselves in life - it helps us set the right goals and achieve them; it assists us in easily maintaining our social connections with family or friends; and of course, it contributes to our performance at work, in studies, or in almost anything we choose to do. Unfortunately, not all of us are blessed with "iron" discipline that keeps us on track at all times, and many of us tend to glance sideways or be tempted by other things that divert us from fulfilling our goals and aspirations. The good news is that consistency and perseverance are like a muscle that can be developed and strengthened if we only decide to work on it with determination. Curious about the steps required for this? Follow the 3 steps below that will improve your life on several levels and help you persist all the way to success.
Step 1: How to Build the Foundations and Right Conditions for Creating Consistency?
Set Focused and Realistic Goals
One of the things that can throw a wrench in your consistency is the fact that you don’t have a clear idea of what you want to do or achieve. When you take your first steps, you need to define simple and easy goals that lead to focused and measurable results. How do you do that?
- Define why consistency matters to you and in what area: Do you expect yourself to be more consistent in everything related to physical activity? Are you interested in improving your work productivity? Or perhaps you want to be more available, attentive, and supportive to your partner?
- Think about the steps: Once you’ve defined your "end goal," start brainstorming the small and simple actions that will help you achieve it. For example, if you want to get in shape, decide as a first step that starting today and for the next month, you’ll dedicate 10 minutes each day to a workout or schedule at least one weekly sports activity with a friend.
- Look at the journey: Instead of saying to yourself, "I’ll really value myself if I make this change in my relationship," say, "I’ll thank myself for washing the dishes, preparing a romantic dinner, and surprising my partner with a lovely gift." If you see the path and the small actions that lead you step by step toward your goal, the process will be far less exhausting and burdensome for you.
Prepare a Schedule for Yourself
To keep track of the promises you’ve made to yourself and ensure they’re always in front of your eyes, you need to create a clear plan that keeps you on track. Such a plan will help you organize each day and end it with one or more accomplishments. It will also help you understand which of your commitments can’t be completed that day, thus sparing you unnecessary feelings of missing out. How do you do this?
- Create something tangible: Use any method to build yourself a schedule in a way that’s convenient and accessible to you - a diary, notebook, sticky notes, or if you’re more of a "tech-savvy" type, download suitable organizational apps for your phone (e.g., Google Calendar - click to download for iPhone or for Android).
- Limit each step: Assign a specific time limit to every task you define. If you’re unsure how long it will take, try to estimate and add a few extra minutes to ensure you stick to the schedule. For long-term goals—like weight loss or creating a family photo album—allocate a reasonable, defined amount of time each day to work on it, but one that will lead you to a realistic completion date.
- Each day, leave room for short breaks between tasks or longer ones after a long stretch. We’ll discuss this further later.
Scatter Reminders Everywhere Possible
At home, in your study, at the office, or on your personal belongings—place reminders in every possible spot in various forms about the goals, aspirations, promises, and commitments you made to yourself at the outset. The act of visually reminding yourself of all these things will later prove to be a helpful way to instill your life aspirations into your consciousness. How do you do this?
- Write your goals on sticky notes and hang them on the mirror, computer, fridge, as well as in your car and diary.
- Prepare an additional note summarizing all your goals and put it in your wallet, office drawer, or bag.
- Set a reminder on your phone with text that will remind you of your goals and the small steps toward achieving them every day.
Think Twice Before Promising Something to Someone
Consistency is built on commitment and the ability to uphold it. It’s very easy to spiral into overwhelm and shock from the sheer number of commitments you’ve made to others and yourself, so it’s recommended not to make promises without "coverage." If you think or are convinced that you won’t succeed within the time frame or your ability to respond well to someone’s request, simply reconsider your answer or politely decline. How do you do this?
For example, if your partner asked you to help with household chores tonight, before committing, try to assess whether you’ll have enough time after your workday. If you estimate you won’t manage, you can set a new goal—meaning, instead of refusing the request or taking on something you can’t fulfill, suggest doing some of the chores today and the rest on another day. Such expectation alignment will prevent frustration about your ability to be consistent or keep your promises.
Pat Yourself on the Back Occasionally
If you’ve succeeded in achieving your goal, see it as an event worth celebrating. This applies to the small tasks and steps you’ve set for yourself along the way as well. Every time you have such an achievement—big or small—treat yourself to something that will keep your motivation alive.
- For example: If you managed to complete all your work tasks throughout the past week, take an evening of enjoyment—go to a movie with friends, treat yourself to a romantic dinner with your partner, or buy tickets to a music or entertainment show.
- If you promised yourself to get fit and stuck to all your workouts and healthy eating for the past month, allow yourself one evening to let loose and enjoy something a bit more "indulgent." Give yourself the feeling that there’s always something good waiting for you in the future.
Step 2: How to Maintain Consistency Over Time?
Internalize That Mistakes Happen
Even the most consistent, persistent, and organized person makes mistakes sometimes. Don’t let every such thing break you, and always prepare for situations where things might go wrong or not turn out exactly as you expected. If you make a mistake, try to learn from it for the future and avoid beating yourself up over every error.
- There’s always a third factor: If you had to cancel a meeting, break a promise, or postpone a task you committed to by a certain date, it doesn’t mean you’re inconsistent. Sometimes, despite our good intentions and efforts, external factors can determine the outcome without us having the ability to influence it.
- Prepare a "Plan B": It’s always good to have a backup plan in case something doesn’t go as planned. For example, if you planned to work out at the gym but for some reason its doors stayed closed at that exact time, ensure you always have a home workout plan. This way, you can prevent delays tied to feelings of failure and ensure you keep moving forward.
- Consistency isn’t perfection: If you missed a day at the gym or forgot to read your child a bedtime story tonight, don’t sink into negative thoughts—promise yourself to get back on track tomorrow.
Take a Break When Your Body Needs It
Being consistent doesn’t mean being in a constant practical process toward achieving your goal every second. On the contrary, if you take some free time for yourself, you can improve your efficiency and productivity and avoid burnout. Therefore, as we mentioned earlier, when creating your schedule, always leave room for breaks—meaning time completely free from fulfilling commitments or pursuing goals. How do you do this?
- Daily quality time: When building your daily routine, dedicate a specific time each evening where you won’t do anything related to your goals but instead spend quality time with yourself or a loved one. Read a book, take a relaxing bath, or watch TV or a movie.
- Meditation: This is a great way to give yourself true rest and peace during the short gaps between tasks. Practice meditation for at least 5 minutes daily, and over time, as needed, you can increase it to up to 15 minutes.
- "Rest is sacred": If you’ve set aside time for rest, don’t interrupt it with tasks or activities. For example, if you decided to sleep in later on Saturday morning because you know you need it after a week of effort, try to avoid agreeing to outings or chores that fall within that time frame as much as possible.
Use Tools to Maintain Motivation
When you’re stressed or experiencing a dip in self-belief, the urge to give up on your goals grows and sometimes overcomes you. But in every such moment, take a few minutes to think about things that will keep your motivation alive and keep you on track. How do you do this?
- Give yourself small rewards: As mentioned, a great way to stay motivated is to reward yourself for achievements. These don’t have to be material things but small actions that give you a boost. For example, if your boss assigned you a long task requiring you to write 10 full pages, give yourself a 5-minute break after completing every two pages.
- Remember the goal: Use your goals to remind yourself that what you’re doing now isn’t in vain. Instead of saying in despair, "I really don’t want to finish this report today," tell yourself, "If I finish this today, I’ll get home on time and have enough time to relax."
- It’s okay to compromise: If you’re having a tough day, you can give yourself a small break. For example, if you promised yourself to eat healthy every day but don’t have the time or energy to cook such a meal yourself, pop into a nearby restaurant and save the effort by ordering something similar.
Stay Alert and Open to Possible Changes
To be consistent, you must identify situations in real-time that prevent you from keeping your promises. Whenever this happens, you need to take the time to consider whether your current goals are realistic given the changes or think about ways to improve to achieve them. How do you do this?
- Track your progress: Look at the tasks you’ve set for yourself and examine which ones you succeeded in and which you didn’t. This action will help you feel self-satisfaction and assist you in understanding how many tasks you can realistically complete in a given day.
- Adopt a "mental supervisor": Choose a close friend or family member you trust and ask them to check in with you weekly on your progress with the tasks you’ve set for yourself, and give them permission to "wake you up" if needed.
- Know when it’s not the right path: If week after week there are failures in your ability to complete the tasks leading to your goal, try changing the approach or alternatively reassess the goals and how realistic they are for now.
Step 3: Be Ready for Mental Shifts
Learn to Wait: Good Things Take Time
Every time you try to create a foundation for new goals or aspirations, you must take the steps one by one without rushing to see results. Instead of overloading yourself with a ton of tasks throughout the day to see progress, work slowly using a trial-and-error method to discover the right steps for you. This will allow you to be more realistic about your expectations over time. How do you do this?
Typically, it takes about 3 weeks of consistent practice to adopt habits that will achieve your goal. Every 3 weeks, update your tasks based on your progress, and don’t expect to go from the start to the finish line in a short time. Also, build these habits with increasing difficulty—start with simpler tasks in the first three weeks and raise the demands in the following weeks according to your ability.
Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries will help you stick to your commitments well, as they clearly define the time when you’ll work on your tasks. Before setting a new task or promising yourself something, take a few minutes to think about what you’re willing to do to achieve it and how you can act to make it happen.
How exactly do you do this? Here’s an example: As part of your effort to maintain your relationship and family life, you decided not to answer phone calls during dinner. As a preliminary step, you need to inform your boss, colleagues, and friends in advance that you won’t be available during those hours. Put your phone elsewhere to avoid distractions and sit down for a calm dinner with your family.
Strengthen Your Willpower
It’s no secret that to be consistent, you need strong willpower, especially since every goal includes steps we don’t always have the energy to invest effort in completing. What actions can you take to strengthen your willpower?
- Avoid temptations: If you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle that includes proper and balanced nutrition, always ensure you have healthy foods or snacks within reach for moments of hunger or snacking. Don’t allow unhealthy food to be in the house and become a potential obstacle for you.
- Preserve your energy: Exhaustion can cause you to skip tasks. Make sure to get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night to maintain the strength needed to keep walking the path.
- Read your end goals every day to repeatedly instill in your consciousness that something big awaits you at the end, worth the investment.
Intercept Negative Emotions
Negative emotions can collapse your consistency and willpower. So, if you’re truly determined to achieve your goals, learn how to set aside the negative and focus on the positive. How do you do this?
- Turn the bad into good: Every time a negative thought pops into your head, try to identify the pattern or form in which it arrives and turn it to your advantage. Instead of saying to yourself, "I can’t do this," stop immediately and rephrase it: "I’m going to try this, even if I’m not perfect the first time."
- Move forward step by step: If you’re suddenly gripped by anxiety and feel the goal you’ve set is too big for you—stop and start over! Only this time, break the path into smaller parts and reward yourself each time you complete a step. This will help you view the task in the right proportions and complete it in a safer, more efficient, and mentally comfortable way.
