1. The Infancy Stage (Ages 0-1) – Trust vs. Mistrust
The existential question: “Can I trust the world?”
Since the infant is entirely dependent on its mother, trust in her and generally in the caregivers is established here, according to the quality of the care provided. The infant needs food, love, warmth, security, and nurturing, and if the caregiver fails to provide these, the infant will grow to feel that it cannot trust the adults in its life. If the child develops trust properly, they will feel safe and protected in the world, but inconsistent care, emotionally unavailable parents, or experiences of rejection will result in mistrust, fear, and the belief that the world is unpredictable and dangerous.
Of course, no child grows up with 100% security or 100% doubts, so Erikson believed that what’s needed is a balance between the two. When such balance exists, the infant gains a basic sense of trust in others, along with the ability to have hope when feeling disappointed. You can see this, for example, in a child who remains calm even when the parent moves away and disappears from sight for a moment.
2. Early Childhood (Ages 1-3) – Autonomy vs. Shame
The existential question: “Is it okay to be me?”
At this stage, the child begins to do certain things independently and make certain decisions according to their own preferences. Allowing children to gain this kind of control over themselves can help them develop a sense of independence, both mentally and physically. One critical element at this stage is the child’s ability to learn bladder and bowel control.
The child faces a more significant dilemma than many realize—whether to “hold on or let go,” which expresses a great deal about the child’s sense of control and affects their sense of independence. Of course, choosing foods, toys, or clothes is also important, but in principle, children who struggle with toilet training and whose parents shame them about it may be left with feelings of shame and incompetence, while success fosters independence.
3. The Play Age (Ages 3-6) – Initiative vs. Guilt
The existential question: “Is it okay for me to move, do, and act?”
At this stage, the child begins to exert power and control over the world through play and social interactions, characterized by the development of initiative and curiosity. The independence gained in the previous stage directs the child’s efforts to ward off potential rivals, which may lead to feelings of jealousy toward one parent and animosity toward the other, seen as a competitor. The child’s desire for independence and the attraction to one parent may lead to feelings of guilt, so parents should support the child, allow them to take initiative, and avoid reacting harshly to the hostility they develop toward one parent.
What you can do is guide the child toward more acceptable goals and generally help them set goals. If they can do so without interference, without feeling guilty, and without fearing punishment, they will develop a sense of purpose in life as well as leadership qualities.
4. The Latency Stage (Ages 6-12) – Industry vs. Inferiority
The existential question at the latency stage: “Can I succeed in a world of people and things?”
The child now finds themselves in a social framework outside the family—school—and realizes the importance of productive work and its outcomes, as well as society’s demand for productivity. The child tackles tasks assigned at school, and if they cope well with the responsibilities placed on them, they’ll acquire skills and, consequently, self-worth and a sense of competence.
On the other hand, if they fail, they’ll experience feelings of inferiority and incompetence, believing they are doomed to mediocrity. Therefore, you should encourage your child to strive for excellence and not allow them to give up, even if they’re struggling, because your encouragement is what will enable them to persevere, achieve, and ultimately feel good about themselves.
5. Adolescence (Ages 12-18) – Identity vs. Identity Confusion
The existential question: “Who am I, and what can I become?”
The child begins to experience physical changes, transitioning from their childhood identity to an adult identity. This stage essentially summarizes the four previous stages, and now the teen must assemble all the information gathered to form a personality and, according to the theory, also determine their desired sexuality. If they fail to consolidate their personal identity as an adolescent, they will experience identity confusion, defined by a sense of role confusion and self-doubt. It can lead to destructiveness, apathy toward the environment, and other issues. For example, the child might adopt a negative identity as a delinquent and label themselves as someone who deliberately breaks social rules—because that is who they want to be.
This stage is also where rebellion against parents begins, and the purpose of this rebellion is to build an individual identity. According to Erikson, this is necessary for creating intimate relationships later on without fearing loss of identity. Erikson claims that we should be forgiving of this teenage rebellion because it not only fosters self-loyalty but also loyalty to others—both of which are crucial for healthy social relationships. That said, not all kinds of rebellious behavior can be tolerated, and you can click here to learn about certain behaviors that should not be allowed and need to be addressed in a timely manner.
6. Young Adulthood (Ages 18-35) – Intimacy vs. Isolation
The existential question: “Can I unite myself with another person?”
At this stage, the adult establishes themselves through work and by breaking away from the dependencies of earlier stages, such as reliance on educational institutions or parents. They must make some very important decisions, such as choosing their occupation and deciding on a life partner. Here arises a conflict between the desire to remain a unique individual and the intimacy of a close relationship. In earlier stages, there was little concern about losing personal identity due to forming intimate relationships, but now the adult realizes they must “sacrifice” something of themselves to maintain a healthy relationship.
If not handled properly, this can lead to a fear of relationships, an inability to maintain them over time, and even feelings of isolation and withdrawal. What is needed is to expand one’s sense of self, learn that intimacy requires caring and commitment, and accept that only by doing so can one truly learn how to love.
7. Adulthood (Ages 35-50) – Generativity vs. Stagnation
The existential question: “Can I make my life matter?”
At this stage, the individual struggles between the need to create and be productive—at work, at home, and in society—and the absence of creativity or a sense of stagnation. If a person stops being interested in social frameworks, in nurturing offspring, or in their occupation, it’s a sign of failure at this stage, commonly referred to as a “midlife crisis.” On the other hand, a positive resolution at this stage makes a person more caring and concerned for their surroundings, giving them a sense of accomplishment. To successfully navigate this stage, one must continue building life rather than stopping, focusing on career and family.
8. Mature Adulthood (Age 50 and older) – Integrity vs. Despair
The existential question: “Is it okay—what I’ve been?”
