1. Intrusive Thoughts
Do you sometimes think about violently attacking a rude person in the supermarket? About driving against the traffic on the Ayalon Freeway? Maybe even about stabbing a loved one in the stomach? These thoughts bring us great shame, but they are actually something that many people experience. Such intrusive thoughts about "inappropriate" content, which arise at inappropriate times (mainly in the context of violence, sexuality, or religion), sometimes cause a person to experience thought-action fusion. That is, they attribute the same significance to thinking about an action as to actually carrying it out. But it's important to remember that most people can easily shake off intrusive thoughts, so there's no reason to feel ashamed of them or to keep them a secret from therapists.
2. "Something Is Wrong with Me..."
This self-perception is probably much more common than you think, and if you've ever felt this way, know that you are not alone and have no reason to be ashamed of it. Many therapists encounter people who have developed a deep-seated belief that something fundamentally unfixable is wrong with them, preventing them from fitting into society, succeeding at work, finding a relationship, etc. In some cases, this belief is so deeply rooted within them that it's hard for them to bring it to light and talk about it. However, it's very important to do so, because only by confronting this perception can one work to change the situation, and it's always worth trying.
3. Undefined Pleasure
A person suffering from depression or going through some coping process may sometimes hear various suggestions from professionals and friends like "treat yourself to a fun day." But it may be surprising to discover that this concept is vague for many people who, for various reasons, ranging from life stress to anxiety, don't really know what brings them joy. This seems like such an illogical problem that many are ashamed to admit it, but that's not the case. There's no doubt that an evening of watching TV or resting in bed can be very relaxing, but is it truly enjoyable? Is it really what gives "fuel" to life? The answers to these questions occupy many people and are certainly important, so there's no reason to worry if you don't really know what brings you joy.
4. Masks
"I feel that if I behave like my true self, no one will like me"—therapists regularly hear some version of this feeling. Even though you might sometimes feel like you're the only one like this, in reality, almost all the people we see wear masks that present a certain version of themselves to the world, which is not necessarily who they really are. This is not a reason for shame, and it's important to emphasize that to some extent, this is a very natural and common behavior.
5. Ups and Downs
In any process related to depression, weight maintenance, addiction, or any similar field, it's natural to experience setbacks, crises, and shame as a result. People in therapy and in general sometimes feel that they need to hide these things from their surroundings because they see them as a sort of mark of Cain, even though we all experience them. Anyone with good judgment understands that as long as a certain boundary is not crossed, this is a common and even natural scenario. Therapists even recommend not trying to suppress the focus on crises and moments of regression—one should practice self-compassion and try to learn from the past, not run away from it.
6. Parental Burnout
Many young and even older parents who come to therapy admit at some point that they feel exhausted and fear they are not functioning well with their children. Some will even say that they regret having children, and this complaint is not uncommon, so there's no reason to think that if you sometimes feel this way, it means something is wrong with you. Parenthood is, by its very nature, hard and exhausting work, and in most cases, all that can be done is to accept this fact and try to be better parents within the possible framework.
7. Shame in the Past
It's no big secret that we all have a past we're not always proud of, but what many are unaware of is that everyone also has "skeletons in the closet" of some kind or another. Therapists often encounter people with deep secrets from their childhood or adolescence, which they believe would shock anyone who discovers them. There are cases where hiding such secrets sometimes delays the therapeutic process a person is going through, and we must not forget the burden that such a secret creates, which weighs heavily on a person's soul. Even if you're convinced that your secret is the darkest and most embarrassing of all time, you're probably wrong and are simply judging yourself too harshly.
8. Voices in the Head
Some people sometimes struggle to identify their internal dialogue, "self-talk" that is completely natural, and mistakenly interpret it as a sign of hallucinations and serious problems. Sometimes this confusion starts out of the blue at a certain stage in life and sometimes as a result of a difficult experience that a person goes through, which stirs up unusual emotional turmoil and thoughts that they don't know how to deal with. This problem is quite common, and therapists and professionals have tools like a series of simple questions with which they can quickly determine whether it's a natural internal conversation or something more complex. In the vast majority of cases, according to the testimonies of many therapists, it's the former.
