You won't find peace if you try to avoid life. Instead of avoiding it, take the change and the experience that comes with it as a strengthening challenge. You will eventually either get what you want or learn what your next step should be. In any case, it's important to remember that to find happiness and peace in life, you don’t necessarily need to be in a place where there is no challenge or hard work. You need to be within the changes, participate in them, and stay calm. Disconnect yourself from the picture you created in your mind of how things "should be." Of course, this isn’t easy, and it will be an ongoing struggle, but it’s much easier than continuing to fight for your comfort to maintain the illusion you created. The journey itself is rewarding.
When you succeed in stepping out of your previous mindset, you can find peace and happiness. Life is too short to waste fighting against yourself, and the greatest disappointment usually stems from excessive expectations. Let go of your unnecessary desires and accept the current situation. Once you manage to do that, you can handle anything that comes your way.
Every time it rains, it eventually stops, and every time you hurt, you eventually heal. After darkness always comes light, and every sunrise reminds you of this, but sometimes you still forget this fact and choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t, because nothing lasts forever.
If everything is good now, enjoy the moment because it won’t last forever either. If everything is bad now, don’t worry because this moment will also pass. Just because life isn’t always easy doesn’t mean you can’t laugh and be happy. Just because something bothers you doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment is a second chance to start fresh, so take this moment and make the best of it.
The most beautiful smile is the one that comes through tears, and a breakdown often leads to a breakthrough. Every mistake, heartbreak, and loss contains within it the solution and the hidden lesson you need to discover and learn to function correctly the next time you face the same problem. Don’t let things outside your control interfere with the endless things within your control, and use those things to push yourself forward.
The truth is that we all fail and lose sometimes, and the bigger truth is that no loss or failure can define you. Ultimately, good things don’t come to those who wait; good things come to those who are patient while working hard. The brave aren’t fearless; they are the ones who overcome their fears.
You may have a good reason to be positive today, but you don’t need a reason at all. Positivity is a strategy, not a reaction. The best time to be positive is precisely when everything around you screams negativity. Long-term happiness doesn’t include a lack of problems; it includes the ability to deal with them. Remember that you are responsible for your reactions to the people and events in your life. You can either give in to negativity and let it take over your life, or you can be positive and focus on what truly matters.
In other words, don’t wait for a reason to be positive. Choose to be positive about your situation, your opportunities, and what you can do to move forward. Instead of looking for reasons to think positively, look for ways to express your positive outlook. Do everything you can to get to the place you envision in your mind, and you’ll enjoy the reward you create for yourself.
Don’t build mountains on your head, and don’t try to conquer the world all at once. When you look for instant gratification, you make life unnecessarily painful and frustrating. When you choose to treat every moment as an opportunity to create small, positive changes in your life, the reward will come naturally. When everything is broken, it’s easy to find many small fixes that can be made. When nothing goes as planned, even the smallest positive effort can create a big change. Times of distress are also times of opportunity. When there are problems in every direction, a reward awaits you that you can create for yourself.
When everything goes as planned, it’s very easy to fall into a routine of complacency and forget how resourceful you are. Solve the small problems in your life every day, and don’t focus on the big problem. Each such step will eventually take you to where you want to be. Step by step, fix by fix, day by day, until you finally fix all the small problems and discover that you have solved the big problem and overcome the crisis that otherwise could have broken you.
Maybe you don’t have what you want, and maybe you’ve been hit hard, but you still have enough things to appreciate right now. Epicurus once said, "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." Remember this quote whenever life seems unfair.
Remember that being positive in negative situations doesn’t mean being naive; it’s a sign of leadership and strength. If you have many reasons to cry and complain but choose to smile and appreciate life instead, you’re on the right path. Don’t expect miracles, and don’t forget to be thankful for the “ordinary” things in your life. They may be simple, but they are no small gifts. It may seem strange to thank the ordinary things in life, but only when you truly appreciate them can you make them extraordinary.
Think about it: what if you woke up tomorrow morning with only the things you gave thanks for today? What would you have left? Think of all the beauty around you, notice it, and smile. In the end, it’s not happiness that makes us grateful but gratitude that makes us happy.
Resisting and ignoring your feelings doesn’t serve you. Such behavior only leads to depression, stress, confusion, problematic relationships, and even illnesses. Anyone who has experienced one of these things knows that they are terrible for mental and physical health, and when you make self-neglect a habit, it’s almost impossible to escape negative emotions.
Most of us spend most of our lives diminishing ourselves. We try to be quieter, less sensitive, less opinionated, less demanding, less ourselves because we don’t want to alienate others. We want to fit in; we want to be loved; we want to make a positive impression; we want to be wanted. For years, you’ve sacrificed yourself for the happiness of others, and for years, you’ve suffered. But you’re tired of suffering, and you’re tired of diminishing yourself, right? Excellent!
It’s not your job to change who you are to become someone else’s idea of what a person "should be." You are worth more than that, not because others think you are worth more but simply because you breathe – you live. Your thoughts matter to you; your feelings matter to you; your voice matters to you. With or without others’ approval or support, you must be yourself and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their backs on you, even if it makes them uncomfortable, and even if they choose to leave.
Don’t diminish yourself. Choose to fill your life with yourself. Choose to give yourself permission to get what you want. Choose to respect your feelings. Choose to prioritize taking care of yourself. Choose yourself.
I can tell you from personal experience that life is a roller coaster. I found happiness, lost it, found it again, lost it, and found it again, and every time I found happiness, it was greater than the previous time.
Remember that everyone suffers at some point in their lives. Everyone feels lost sometimes. The key is your effort and ability to grow, step by step. Apply everything you’ve learned from every experience to your actions and choices, and always move forward, not backward. Every day you pass, you are stronger and wiser. It’s not easy, but in the end, it’s worth it.
