sermon Posts

This Joke Starts With a Young Vicar Delivering a Sermon

A young vicar about to deliver his first sermon asked the advice of a retired minister on how to capture the congregation's attention. "Start with an opening line that's certain to grab them," the cleric told him.

Joke: The Sermon Notes

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door: "Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. There are 10 commandments, not 12. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

I Wonder Why the Elderly Lady Didn't Raise Her Hand (Joke)

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80% held up their hands. He then repeated his question once more.

This Joke Starts With a Man Trying to Steal a Hat

When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to an entire sermon on the Ten Commandments.

This Joke Starts With a Minister Doing Something Different

An Old Lady Is Reminded of Her Youth funny, hilarious, joke, humor, church, old lady, minister, sermon, hymn A church minister decides to do something a little different during his sermon, so he starts spouting random words for his congregation to sing hymns to...

Joke: The Secret to Having No Enemies

The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question.

This Joke Starts With an Old Pastor Looking For His Collar

She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that three poor sermons in 30 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.

Joke: The Helpful Commandment

When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to an entire sermon on the Ten Commandments.

This Joke Starts With Mrs. Jones Talking to a Minister

"Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.

Joke: The State of the Modern Church

When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon. Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering.

These Are Some of the Best Lines I've Ever Heard.

Eleanor Roosevelt “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning, and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.” George Burns “ Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year. ” Victor Borge “Be careful about reading health books.

Joke: Funniest Lines in History!

Eleanor Roosevelt “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning, and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.” George Burns “Don't worry about avoiding temptation... As you grow older, it will avoid you.” Unknown “What would men be without women?

Have You Heard This Joke? These Jokes Are Rude!

"Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.

These Stunning Statues of Buddha Are Worth a Visit!

Lord Buddha Statue at Sarnath, Uttar Pradesh, India, where Buddha preached his first sermon (By Kasyap, Wikimedia Commons ) 5. Ancient Buddha Statue with the treasure at Thanthrimale, India (By Wisha.imagination, Wikimedia Commons ) 6.

QUIZ: How Well Do You Know These Famous Quotations?

Jesus of Nazareth Jesus Christ in the sermon on the mount proclaimed the good news that the “meek shall inherit the Earth.” Meek Poor Saints Good Wikipedia “If I have seen further, it is from .”

QUIZ: How Familiar Are You With the New Testament?

So you think you've read enough New Testament, heard enough sermons, sang enough hymns and even seen enough nativity plays to make you a bit of a Bible boffin? Well, let's put you to this tricky Gospel test.