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Joke: The Widow and the Special Words...

The widow replies: " Thanks, that means a great deal. " Another man comes up and asks for the same privilege. The widow thanks him, saying that would be very nice. The man clears his throat and says: " Earth ."

This Joke Starts with a Man Walking into a Bar...

The barman replied, "Yes, sir. Just one penny." As he takes the glass of delicious beer and takes a satisfying gulp, the guy glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?" "Certainly sir," replies the bartender.

Joke: A Drink Best Served Cold

The barman replied, "Yes, sir. Just one penny." As he takes the glass of delicious beer and takes a satisfying gulp, the guy glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?" "Certainly sir," replies the bartender.

Joke: The Special Golf Ball

The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. "Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?" The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one."

Silly Joke: Stalin and Comrade Sun

"Good morning, Comrade Stalin" the sun replies. Later in the day, as Stalin is heading to the NKVD headquarters to meet with Beria, he says, "Good afternoon, Comrade Sun". "Good afternoon, Comrade Stalin," the Sun replies.

A Generous Lawyer Invites a Family Over For Dinner (Joke)

"We don't have money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, come along with me then," instructed the lawyer. The man answered "But sir, I have a wife and two children! "Bring them along" replied the lawyer. The lawyer turned to the other man and said, "Come with us."

Joke: State of Education

Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge, goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.

Hilarious: I Don't Have Money to Pay My Medical Bill

He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank." The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "Just a spinster sister, who is a nun."

Joke: His One and Only Request...

The soldier replies: "Sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful." The general asks him: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush."

This Joke Begins With a General Visiting an Army Hospital...

The soldier replies: "Sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful." The general asks him: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush."

Joke: A Nauseated Blonde

"Not really," she replied. "I'm nauseated from sitting backward on the train." "Poor dear," he said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?" "I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."

Joke: What To Wear When The IRS Calls You In...

Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."

Joke: Grandma and Her Boyfriend

Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. "The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible.

Hilarious: I Never Know What My Brother Will Do Next

He asked his brother how his wife was, and his brother replied: "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you."

This Joke Starts With a Dad & Son Walking Into a Drugstore

Men use them to have safe sex," the man replies matter-of-factly. "Oh I see," replies the boy, pensively. "I've heard of that in health class at school." He picks up a packet of three condoms and asks: "Why are there three in this package, Dad?" "Those are for high-school boys.

Hilarious: The Pharmacist is NOT Impressed

To which my son replied: "My daddy bought me some of these yesterday!" With a disgusted look on her face, the pharmacist replied: "Those are NOT for children, young man." And finally, my son replied: "Then I'll buy this one for my Daddy. He likes the LITTLE ones!" Excuse Me, Young Man!

This Joke Starts With a Christian Lady On a Business Trip

The lady replied "Of course I do. It is the Bible." He said "Well what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale? She replied "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"

This Joke Starts With a Man Looking For Answers About Relations

He queries the minister and receives the same reply. relations is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years of tradition and knowledge. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, it is definitely play."

Hilarious Joke: What To Wear When The IRS Calls You In

Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."

Joke: Three Funerals and a Wedding

The woman replies, "The first one ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic!" she gasps. "What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." the woman replies. Feeling shocked, "Oh, how terrible! I am almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.

Joke: A Real Robbery

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"