pearly gates Posts

This Joke Starts With a Woman At the Pearly Gates

A woman found herself standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted her and said, "These are the Gates to Heaven, my dear. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do. "Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?"

Hilarious: Standing Before the Pearly Gates...

A man finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates to heaven. In front of them, stands a guardian angel. As the man approaches, the angel greets him and warns him it is not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the fellow religious in life? No?

Joke: The Spirit of Christmas

At the Pearly Gates they're greeted by Saint Peter Saint Peter says to them: "I will let you into heaven if you can show me a spirit of Christmas." The first man pulls out a leaf from his pocket and says "This represents the Christmas tree."

Joke: When Bill Gates Goes to Hell...

Content Joke: A Billionaire's Visit to Hell joke Bill Gates dies and for some reason goes to hell.

Joke: God Sets out to Find Those Who Really Lived as Men

A little while later, God returned to the pearly gates to check on progress. The women had all gone with St. Peter as he had wished, and the men were split into two lines.

Hilarious: If I Only Knew the Truth of the Matter Sooner...

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Joke: The 160 Year Old Man

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Joke: St. Peter and the Politicians

Peter was standing at the pearly gates of Heaven When a group of politicians walked up. "Hey Petey, may we come in too Heaven?" asks one jovially. St. Peter replies "Well, we have never had a group of politicians come in to heaven before, let me ask God."

Joke: Anything to Regret?

At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper: "Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?" "Yes," the professor answered. "When I was a young candidate at the Hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against a team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side.

Joke: A Bizarre Afterlife

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where Saint Peter said, "You died in your sleep Ralph." Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back! St Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a lesser being. An animal.

Hilarious: My Invention Is Better Than Yours!

At the pearly gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur thought about this for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St.

Joke: Heaven Has Its Perks...

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Whitening Teeth: The New Easy Method for a Perfect Smile

There are many products on the market that claim to turn your teeth "pearly white", but most contain harsh whitening chemicals that may also damage tooth enamel, the protective layer of your teeth.

A Tasty Lamb Stew to Keep You Warm on a Chilly Day

Lamb, Potato and Pearly Barley Stew Ingredients • 400g of middle neck of lamb, diced • 2 carrots, medium, chopped into chunks • 1 onion, roughly chopped • 1 tbsp of tomato paste • 1.1l lamb stock • 100g of pearl barley • 4 large floury potatoes, chopped into large chunks • 3 tbsp of vegetable oil Method