drunk joke Posts

Joke: The Holy Drunk

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says: “Hey, I’m Jesus Christ!” The priest says: “No son, you’re not.” So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says: “Man, I’m Jesus Christ!” The priest says: “No son, I'm afraid you’re not.”

Joke: The Drunk Fisherman

Content Joke: The Drunk Fisherman joke A drunk ice fisherman drills a hole in the ice and peers into it...

This Joke Starts With a Very Drunk Man...

"I'm just way too drunk right now, I need to sober up." So he asks the barman for a coffee, he drinks it up and 30 minutes later he tries to stand up, but again he falls to the floor, this time even harder.

Joke: The Annoying Old Drunk

I was sitting at a bar one time, when I noticed that, next to me, an old drunk was hassling one of the biggest, toughest guys I'd ever seen. The old guy was clearly blasted, and kept getting in the tough guy's face, saying "I slept with your mother."

Joke: The Drunk Minister

Scroll below for more funny jokes! Joke: The Drunk Minister funny, hilarious, joke, humor, minister, alcohol, whisky, cowboy, flight attendant A cowboy and a minister are on a flight to Texas. Although the cowboy orders a whisky, there won't be any alcohol for the minister on this flight...

Joke: Three Drunks and the Fast Taxi

Joke: Three Drunks and the Fast Taxi joke Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking...

Joke: The Coffee Shop and the Drunk Man

Joke: The Drunkard and the Coffee Shop Owner funny, joke, drunk, drunkard A drunken man walks into a coffee shop one day...

Joke: An Academic Drunk

Content Joke: An Unlikely Destination joke Two policemen went on patrol late at night...

This Joke Starts With a Drunk Losing His Rolex

One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk, down on his hands and knees searching for something under a streetlight. The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wristwatch had broken loose from his wrist.

This Joke Begins With 2 Drunks at an Irish Pub...

The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters," It's going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again. " ​For more funny jokes scroll below.

This Joke Starts With Three Drunk Men Getting In a Taxi

Scroll below for more funny jokes! Three Drunks and the World's Fastest Taxi funny, hilarious, driver, joke, men, humor, drunk, taxi, three, drunks, cab Three guys have been out drinking when they decide to get a cab and head home, but the taxi driver seems to have other ideas...

This Joke Starts With a Drunk Irishman Driving His Car

"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening". "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

Joke: I KNEW You Were Drunk!

You show signs of being drunk.” Me - “Officer I assure you I haven’t even had a sip.” Cop - “Alright sir, well how about a quick test. Imagine you’re driving down the dark road and see two lights in the distance, what is it?” Me - “A car..?” Cop - “Of course! But what kind?

Joke: The Golden Toilets

Joke: The Incredible Golden Toilet children joke, Gold toilets, teen joke, drunk joke, joke about being drunk, tuba This joke starts with two boys and one outlandish claim.

Joke: Keeping Score With The Mrs.

Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights. With his eyes barely open, he misses his friend Carl in bed on top of his wife. He lies down and instantly passes out.

Joke: Drunken Lies

"I'm just way too drunk right now, I need to sober up." So he asks the barman for a coffee, he drinks it up and 30 minutes later he tries to stand up, but again he falls to the floor, this time even harder.

Joke: The Graveyard Music

A couple of days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.

Joke: Pull Over!

"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening". "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

Joke: The Talking Clock

Keith was known as a drunk to his friends. One night he was having a housewarming party for his new apartment. While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, Keith led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.

Joke: All the Excuses

“Well, because I'm completely drunk! I could go to jail!" ​ ​For more funny jokes scroll below. Joke: Getting Out Of A Breathalyzer Test funny, joke, humor, cop, drunk driver Jim's had a bit to drink, so he's trying to get out a breathalyzer using every excuse he can think of. Read this funny joke.