drunk Posts

This Joke Starts With a Very Drunk Man...

"I'm just way too drunk right now, I need to sober up." So he asks the barman for a coffee, he drinks it up and 30 minutes later he tries to stand up, but again he falls to the floor, this time even harder.

Joke: The Annoying Old Drunk

I was sitting at a bar one time, when I noticed that, next to me, an old drunk was hassling one of the biggest, toughest guys I'd ever seen. The old guy was clearly blasted, and kept getting in the tough guy's face, saying "I slept with your mother."

This Joke Starts With a Drunk Losing His Rolex

One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk, down on his hands and knees searching for something under a streetlight. The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wristwatch had broken loose from his wrist.

Joke: The Coffee Shop and the Drunk Man

Joke: The Drunkard and the Coffee Shop Owner funny, joke, drunk, drunkard A drunken man walks into a coffee shop one day...

This Joke Starts With Three Drunk Men Getting In a Taxi

Three Drunks and the World's Fastest Taxi funny, hilarious, driver, joke, men, humor, drunk, taxi, three, drunks, cab Three guys have been out drinking when they decide to get a cab and head home, but the taxi driver seems to have other ideas...

This Joke Starts With a Drunk Irishman Driving His Car

"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening". "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

Joke: The Holy Drunk

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says: “Hey, I’m Jesus Christ!” The priest says: “No son, you’re not.” So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says: “Man, I’m Jesus Christ!” The priest says: “No son, I'm afraid you’re not.”

Joke: The Drunk Fisherman

Content Joke: The Drunk Fisherman joke A drunk ice fisherman drills a hole in the ice and peers into it...

Joke: The Drunk Minister

Joke: The Drunk Minister funny, hilarious, joke, humor, minister, alcohol, whisky, cowboy, flight attendant A cowboy and a minister are on a flight to Texas. Although the cowboy orders a whisky, there won't be any alcohol for the minister on this flight...

Joke: Three Drunks and the Fast Taxi

Joke: Three Drunks and the Fast Taxi joke Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking...

Joke: An Academic Drunk

Content Joke: An Unlikely Destination joke Two policemen went on patrol late at night...

This Joke Begins With 2 Drunks at an Irish Pub...

The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters," It's going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again. " ​For more funny jokes scroll below.

Joke: I KNEW You Were Drunk!

You show signs of being drunk.” Me - “Officer I assure you I haven’t even had a sip.” Cop - “Alright sir, well how about a quick test. Imagine you’re driving down the dark road and see two lights in the distance, what is it?” Me - “A car..?” Cop - “Of course! But what kind?

I Don't Think It's Safe For Him to Use That Thing (Joke)

But the drunk insisted and was given a gun. He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and after trying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he had scored three bullseyes.

Hilarious: Stories About Your Grandmother (Rude)

Looking at the biggest of the three men in the eye, the drunk man says: “I went by your grandma’s house and saw her completely naked in the hallway. Man, she’s fine!” The biker looks at the drunk man and doesn’t say anything.

Have You Heard This Joke? How Did You KNOW??

He stays until the bar closes at 2 am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backward and lands flat on his rear end.

Joke: How Did You KNOW??

He stays until the bar closes at 2 am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backward and lands flat on his rear end.

Joke: Drunken Lies

"I'm just way too drunk right now, I need to sober up." So he asks the barman for a coffee, he drinks it up and 30 minutes later he tries to stand up, but again he falls to the floor, this time even harder.

Have You Heard This One? An American in An Irish Pub

Joke: The Irishman and the Bet funny, joke, humor, bet, beer, drunk, bar, Ireland, irishman, bar jokes, drunk jokes, pints of beer, Irish jokes This joke begins with an American going into a pub in good ol' Ireland...

This Joke Starts With a Suspicious Driver...

Joke: A Sudden Malfunction funny, joke, humor, cop, drunk, officer This drunk driver had a bit of a surprise for the officer.