bastards Posts

Have You Heard This Joke? The Big Bastard

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that Bastard!". "Hey, mind your language!" says the priest. Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Bastard fish".

Joke: The Secret to Having No Enemies

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned around and said: "It's easy, I just outlived the bastards."

Oops! She Didn't Really Think That Through (Rude)

"You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him. "How could you have been lying to me all these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly: "I'll explain the toy if you explain the kids."

Hilarious Joke: There Are Many Technicalities When Getting Married

If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards." Groom: "That's funny - that's just what the clerk called you."

Joke: What's a Priest is Doing in Hell?

I had a heart attack while I was wringing that little bastard's neck." Joke: What's a Priest is Doing in Hell? funny, joke A priest appears at the gate to hell. Surprised, because priests were rare in hell, a demon gets curious and jumps into the priest's path.

This Joke Starts With a Man and a Woman Fast Asleep...

And why were you running, you bastard?!?" Scroll below for more funny jokes! Joke: A Surprise Accusation funny, joke, humor, wife, husband, couple, married This husband got a rude surprise...

Joke: The Talking Clock

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For bloody sake, you bastard, it's 2 in the damn morning!!!" Joke: The Talking Clock funny, joke Keith was known as a drunk to his friends. One night he was having a housewarming party for his new apartment.

Today's Joke: That Crafty Cat...

" Put that bastard on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions. " Scroll below for more funny jokes! Joke Today: GPS Cat. funny, joke, cat, laughter, baba recommends, lost Some cats are so much smarter than us...

Hilarious Joke: The Naked Excuse!

The lover looks down, jumps in surprise and mutters, ' 'Them little bastards! '' Scroll below for more funny jokes! Why Are You Naked? funny, hilarious, joke, wife, husband, cheating, lover Some people are fast thinkers...

Joke: How to Explain It to the Wife

Explain yourself, ya drunk bastard!" The man, knowing he's screwed and looking down at his sad state and the snails scattered all about, decides to take the chance. Raising his fist and adopting a motivational tone, he says with a dare, "Five feet more lads, we're almost there!"

Joke: The Fussy Judge

If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards." Groom: "That's funny - that's just what the clerk called you."

Joke: A Ghostly Advice

That bastard had a twin. Joke: Enjoy Yourself, It's Later Than You Think... joke When I was about 7 years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a co-worker of his, someone I didn't even know.

This Joke Starts With a Man Working At the Post Office

I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office!" Scroll below for more funny jokes! What's Written On This One!?

Joke: The Broke Student and His Brilliant Idea

The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he talked to your Mother!' 'I sure did, Dad!' 'That's my boy!' The lad went on to be a successful lawyer. Joke: The Talking, Reading Dog funny, joke, humor, talking dog This dog can not only talk, but also read!

This One Begins with a Phone Call to Dad...

The father groaned and whispered, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he talked to your mother!' 'I sure did, dad!' 'That's my boy!' The lad went on to be a successful lawyer. Scroll below for more funny jokes!

This Joke Starts With Two Stupid Scoundrels Having a Drink...

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground." He then says, "If any man brings me an Indian’s prized horse, I'll give him $1000." The two men looked at each other, walked out of their bar and mounted their horses.

Hilarious: When a Spot of Generosity Goes Unappreciated

It was no doubt those thieving bastards at the post office." Images (including cover) by Deposit Photos . Scroll below for more funny jokes!

My High-Flying Kids Can't Afford a Present For Me (Funny)

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?" "Yep," said the father, "and cheap ones too!" Images by Deposit Photos . Scroll below for more funny jokes!

Joke: The Weird Letter

I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office!" Scroll below for more funny jokes! What's Written On This One!?

Hilarious: What Would Our Pets Write In Their Diary?

Bastards! Day 1074 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."

Today's Joke: A Spontaneous Confession

Woman : " I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." Images courtesy of: Naypong, David Castillo Dominici / freedigitalphotos.net Scroll below for more funny jokes! Joke: A Sudden Confession funny, speeding, joke, humor, police He did NOT see this coming.

British Humor Can Be a Bit Different - Hilarious!

Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog . FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.