Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
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