What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
This foundation is rock salad.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Time to celery-brate.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I think therefore I yam.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What a spud muffin.
I yam what I yam.
I hope for world peas.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
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