What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
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