What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
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