When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
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