What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
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