Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
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