Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
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