What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
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